Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom

Lyda here. I just can’t get enough weirdness. And it is Wednesday, after all. But Second Son’s birthday post had to go first. Priorities, ya’ll. And weird. But I digress…

Here’s this week’s

Completely Random Weirdness

1.) Mating animals badger police.

Yes, we’ve got a million of ‘em here at Bad Puns R Us.

2.) Fortunately, “Lion of the Sea” was not on the menu. Geez, they weren’t very welcoming. Next time he should bring potato salad.

3.) Stand back! I’ve got lasagna and I’m not afraid to use it!  And she would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

4.) What’s up with Florida? Dude, the cops don’t care what’s on your five inches. Or your buns.

5.) I know what ya’ll will be thinking once you read this. Ya’ll will be thinking, “When can I too have a bulletproof bra?”

6.) And speaking of pasta and pirates: Important breaking news on the environment, on a t-shirt. Full explanation here. Yes, we were too talking about pirates. Pollyanna always talks about pirates. And zombies. And cake. Oh, digressing again.

You can knit a proper tribute to His Holiness, the Flying Spagetti Monster – three different sets of instructions here and here and here. May the Sauce be with you.

And CAKE!

8.) So, here are the results of the only fair Male Survey. I say “Only fair” because it only includes heterosexual men, for one thing.  And, to go straight to the part we’re all interested, the sexuality results. And the dating results.

Sex: Compare the answers to #2 to the answers to #38. And then look again at the answers to #27.

29% think they can definitely tell if a woman fakes an orgasm.

Guys, I have this bridge for sale…

9.) And here are the results of their only-fair Female Survey. Again, only heterosexuals. So why is there a picture of an almost-nude woman?

And why are there no categories for lifestyle and for money & power? They asked that on the men’s survey. *insert my standard feminist rant here*

Anyway, sex results, dating results.

Sex: 22% say they have lied about how many partners they have had. (Once again, see #27 on men’s sex survey).

But my favorite? #16: 63% of women admit to having faked orgasm (6% say only once… we believe you, we really do).

Dating: See #7 – I have to wonder what that “other” is.

63% of these women have not had a threesome and would not consider it. (The guys will be sad.)

Hum. There may be a meme with some of those questions in our immediate future.

10.) It’s… happening… as predicted by the Ghostbusters in the first movie…

Click the link in the last line and you’ll see.

Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?
Ray: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Venkman: Exactly.
Ray: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Egon: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…
Winston: The dead rising from the grave!
Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria!