Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom

Lyda here.

Well, Jose Cuervo gold, anyway. And Attack by Thong gold. And dead cow gold - what would you turn the dead cow into? Weird and funny. Good blog reading.

In other news - it’s officially summer! I celebrated Midsummer - also known as Litha and the Summer Solstice and a lot of other things - Saturday by sweltering in the record-breaking heat  enjoying the warmth of the sun. Mostly sitting on the couch, watching TV, doing a bit of reading, taking a nap (hey, napping is a traditional Midsummer activity!). I ran a few errands in the morning - recycling center, library, gas station (gasp!) - and stopped by the grocery store for some fruit and juice. And diet soda - hey, don’t judge. It was so hot, I didn’t really want anything but fruit.

Oh.

And Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. Edible gold!

I watched “Fright Night” (1985) with Roddy McDowell - he was awesome, doing a parody of horror movies and yet playing the role full out. It’s terrific to see a great actor having fun like this. Actor gold!  No zombies in this movie, just vampires, but good none the less. Funny, too. And the 80s hair! Heh. Here’s the trailer. And here’s a video tribute.  On the Pollyanna scale, I give it one brain out of 5 for violence and gore, and a full 5 brains out of 5 for good horror fun (mostly because of Roddy McDowell). And now of course, I’ll have to see the sequel…

Ice cream and a horror movie. Now that’s a celebration.

“I absolutely adore movies. Even bad ones. I don’t like pretentious ones, but a good bad movie, you must admit, is great.” - Roddy McDowell

I totally agree.

Lyda here. It’s Hump Day - time for a Random Weirdness post. Today it’s:

TOTALLY RANDOM WEIRDNESS

1.) Drunken weirdness: Dude. This is not the way to get more fiber.

2.) Lone Star weirdness: This one’s for all us Texans.

3.) Blue weirdness: They are making a live action Smurf movie. Really. Why??? Fifty years, and there’s still only one female. Her dance card must be full… if ya’ll know what I mean…

4.) Historical weirdness: Check out this modern Trojan Horse  from “The Chaser” - these guys are crazy, but in a very funny way.

5.) Deadly weirdness: The Grim Reaper looks for work. Another gem from “The Chaser”. The Resident Sith Master and I spent at least an hour watching videos from “The Chaser.”  This Pollyanna will go to any lengths to bring ya’ll the weirdness.

6.) Food weirdness: Want melon? Got $6000? So many jokes, the mind boggles…

Also: This is probably not where you want to go on a first date. I’m just saying…

7.) Work weirdness: With competition like this, I should have a job in no time, right?

8.) Shopping weirdness: Because everyone needs their own remote-control zombie. And a R2D2 pepper mill. To go with our new salt pigs. Lick the salty pig! Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

And we all need a duct tape purse. And skull and crossbones ice cubes. Arr, maties!

9.) Weird pig fun: Check out this smart pig. Feel the piggie love! Hint: Do not google “pig love” at work. But that video link is safe for work and kids. Trust Pollyanna.

10.) And finally, because Mom would have loved it:
more cat pictures

Lyda here. We need a Random Weirdness post, because it’s Wednesday, and because it’s June… 

“…June, June, June,   Just because it’s June!   June!   June!” 

Sorry about that. The theater geekiness never goes away; it just morphs into sudden bursts of song for no apparent reason. And other weird digressions…

Before we get to today’s Random Weirdness, a few blogiverse items:

1.) Most importantly, go over to Frank’s blog and post a comment that’s funny / cheerful / supportive. A joke, a link to a silly site. We love you, Frank! Get well!

2.) As your reward, go over to Crazy Aunt Purl and enter the contest to win a stack of books from Laurie! How generous I am to tell ya’ll about this, as I’ve entered the contest myself (she had me at “free books”). Now ya’ll know how much Pollyanna loves ya.

3.) So ya’ll can plan ahead: Saturday, June 14th is World Wide Knit In Public Day. That link is the official site; you can find a KIP near you, or host a KIP - even a virtual KIP. Ya’ll, I can’t take credit for knowing about this in advance this year - I read about it here on diknit’s blog.

Post a comment and tell us where you will be knitting in public!

And let us know if ya’ll want us to host a Hermit’s Virtual KIP here at Pollyanna’s. Virtual sweet tea, virtual cake, and the Zombie Army! Awesome! Actually, Anna-Liza will probably be KIP for real, so I might be on my own on this one.

Okay, on to the Random Weirdness:

1.) Toy Vault makes Princess Bride toys - every girl’s dream, a Dread Pirate Roberts of her very own! They make Monty Python stuff : Tim the Enchanter hats! The Black Knight, with detachable limbs! And for the final touch for Marin’s desk - a Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth stapler! Here’s where to buy their stuff.  No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

2.) Zombie cats!

3.) Actually EFFECTIVE tech support! Heh.

4.) How do you know you’ve had enough to drink? Now.

5.) Among recent searches that lead people to our blog, there was the usual: “Bruce Willis”, “heathers”, variations on “pollyanna” and “rainbow”.

There was the slightly unusual: “zombie movies domesticated”  - what, they don’t like wild zombies??

And there was the uber cool: “cosmic”. I love that you can find us by searching for “cosmic”. That’s how cool the Pollyannas are, ya’ll!

6.) And finally, does someone want to explain it to this guy? Anyone? Anyone?

Lyda here. Good morning, ya’ll.

In my copious free time… as I “consider offers” to put it delicately - or wait for the next temporary assignment, to put it accurately. Did I mention that my assignment at Huge Corporation ended? Oh. It did. But I digress… I completed another of the books for Pollyanna’s Reading in Wonderland Challenge.

#2. Read a non-fiction or how-to book about a new topic. Choose something that you are curious about, something that is really far from your current life, work, college major, and hobbies.

So, I read “The Book of Vice: Very Naughty Things and How to Do Them” by Peter Sagal, the host of National Public Radio’s “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me.”

What? Vice is very far from my current life. Really! Well, mostly, anyway.

A vice is different from a sin. The author says, “As soon as sinning starts to be fun, it becomes a vice.” A vice may be a sin or may not, but it is done for the thrill. Drinking diet soda? Maybe a vice, but not a sin. Eating a second piece of chocolate cake? Possibly a vice, possibly the sin of gluttony.

Feeding off the brains of the living? That would definitely be a vice and a sin. Yet another reason not to become a zombie. Or hang out with them. Although I’m safe from their attentions, as I’ve mentioned before.

This book explores - carefully, because the floors are sticky - strip clubs, swinging parties, pornography, and gambling. It also looks at lying, conspicuous consumption, and eating.

But not eating as in “Let’s go grab a sandwich” or “I want more CAKE!” Eating in a way I didn’t even know existed: molecular gastronomy. Or, as some of the chefs object to that term, experimental cuisine. Skimming through various websites, like this one and this one, it doesn’t seem they are even talking about food.

This cartoon will give ya’ll the idea.

As Peter Sagal says of his evening at one of these restaurants, “My host for the evening… is insane.”

Ya’ll will notice, I didn’t write about the chapters on sex or gambling or lying - all of which were interesting and funny chapters equally worthy of discussing. No, I wrote about food. I guess we know what my vice is. CAKE!

Ya’ll, this is a seriously funny book. Interesting and informative, and a quick read. But most of all, funny. The kind of first book that has me hoping the author is already working on his next one. I highly recommend it.

Vice was never so much fun.

Lyda here. I’ve been reading about other people’s 2008 reading challenges, like the TBR Challenge that I read about here on Lisa’s blog, and Annie’s What’s In A Name Challenge. And for the ambitious, this 2008 Olympics Challenge (205 countries, 205 books). If I’d known about some of these in January, I might have joined up. Not the 205 one, though. I do have limits. That’s not what he said.

‘You don’t know much,’ said the Duchess, ‘And that’s a fact.’

So, having missed the bus (again) - mind that bus, what bus, splat! - I thought, why not come up with a reading challenge of our own?

Ours will be a little… different…

Bwahahahahaha.

So many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

What did you expect? Normality?

POLLYANNA’S READING IN WONDERLAND CHALLENGE

The semi-rules:

‘Begin at the beginning,’ the King said gravely, ‘and go on till you come to the end: then stop.‘

The Challenges in absolutely no particular order whatsoever

1. ‘…at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’:  Read a fiction book in a genre you don’t usually read. Here’s a list of genres  - Oh, look, erotica… hmmm…  Plays and poetry books count too. Ask a friend who reads that genre, or a librarian, or just wander into a new section of books or the New Arrivals section in the library.

Dip your toes in a new pond.

2. “Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,” the Mock Turtle replied, “and the different branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.”:  Read a non-fiction or how-to book about a new topic. Choose something that you are curious about, something that is really far from your current life, work, college major, and hobbies. According to Dr. Amen, this is very good for your brain. Here’s one list of 100 best non-fiction.

3. “How doth the little crocodile”:  Read a biography or autobiography about someone whose life is/was vastly different than yours. Or, read a history book or historical fiction about a completely different time or place.

4. ”Well, if I eat it, and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door: so either way I’ll get into the garden, and I don’t care which happens”:  Read a book that includes food. You could read a cooking or travel book. Or a fiction book with recipes like “Fried Green Tomatoes At the Whistle Stop Cafe” or “Like Water for Chocolate.” Or a book that mentions food a lot, or has food as a plot point or part of the title. Here are some suggestions. However, definitely NOT one of these books. Eww.  Or maybe the book has the characters eating somewhere unusual. “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe“, perhaps?

Now try some of the food from the book. You can cook it, buy it, or eat out. If you’re going to the above-mentioned restaurant, please take us with you. We know where our towels are.

For the uber-ambitious: Get your friends to join you for a literary potluck. Everyone can bring or make their dish - and let everyone know what books the food inspirations came from, of course! A Wonderland themed tea party would be fun, but be careful with those magic mushrooms, ya’ll!

5. Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh:  Read a book that’s just for fun. This could be anything - a historical romance, a cosy English mystery, P.G. Wodehouse, lighthearted non-fiction, a classic Erma Bombeck, complete and utter porn - whatever. Anything that makes you happy.

Yes, you could choose a wonderful literary masterpiece. Or you could read a trashy romance novel. Go ahead. “I had to read it, Pollyanna made me.”

6. ‘Why is a raven like a writing-desk?’:  Find a book that has been made into a movie. Read the book. See the movie. In whatever order works for you.

7. The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo:  Read a classic book you’ve never read and always meant to. Here’s a list  and another list and yet another to give you some ideas.

8. ‘But what did the Dormouse say?’ one of the jury asked. ‘That I can’t remember,’ said the Hatter. ‘You must remember,’ remarked the King, ‘or I’ll have you executed.’:  Re-read one of your all-time favorite books. Remember all over again why you love it. Blog about it so we will all want to read it too.

9. ‘And what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice, ‘without pictures or conversations?’ :  Read a children’s picture book. If you don’t have any small ones in your life to share their books with you, go to the bookstore or library. Find a picture book that really appeals to you and read it. I highly recommend you don’t skip this one. There are some amazing picture books out there. Try this one for some good pig-licking fun.

10. “Oh my fur and whiskers!”:  Read a children’s or young adult book. It can be something you loved as a child, or one you’ve never read. Great books can get missed because they are considered kid’s books.

11. “After a fall such as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling downstairs!”:  Read a banned or challenged book. There’s a list here. And there are more here.

12. ‘But I don’t want to go among mad people,’ Alice remarked. ‘Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: ‘we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.’:  Read a book from a different country and culture. The author can be from a country you have never visited. The book can be translated from a different language. The book can be set in a country you have never visited. If you read a lot of books from one country, for this category, read something different. So I need to read something that isn’t English.

13. “Curiouser and curiouser!”:  Read another book, any kind, any genre, anything. Something you’ve read a million times or something you’ve never read. Here’s a whole list of lists of books. Read what strikes your fancy. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry. Self-help. A knitting book. A funny knitting book. A funny semi-knitting book. A knitting cartoon collection.

A zombie preparation guide. Whatev.

At last the Dodo said, ‘everybody has won, and all must have prizes.’

Give yourself a prize. You’ve earned it.

Anna-Liza here.

I have to confess, I have never, ever seen most of the TV shows Lyda mentioned in that post. Gilligan’s Island, Hogan’s Heroes and Star Trek are all exceptions. Just to give you an idea of the depth of my television illiteracy. BTW, loved Hogan’s Heroes. I was pretty fond of I Dream of Jeannie, too. In the ’70’s, I was watching Charlie’s Angels (and wishing my hair would do that Farrah thing–which would have been hideous on me, frankly), The Bionic Man and The Bionic Woman. And I remember Mannix and Berretta being staples, and Emergency! I’m pretty sure Randy Mantooth was my first Tiger Beat crush, although Parker Stevenson eventually supplanted him. Or maybe the other way around. Oh, and Tony DiFranco, who, as far as I know, is no relation to Ani.

But I digress. What is it that I do to relax if I don’t let my mind get sucked into the Tube of Mindlessness? (Although, as Lyda points out, there’s a lot of good stuff, too. PBS rocks, except perhaps for Barney.) Well, mostly knitting or reading, and most weekends I spend one morning at my favorite coffee place, Java Stop, knitting and watching the kids play and sipping a mocha. I’ve mentioned it before, but now I have pictures!

Kevin and Ellen, the owners, are super folks. Kevin does the baking, and he makes some of the best muffins ever. When I walk in, if there’s a line, there’s a fresh mocha sitting on the counter for me before I can even order! And they make ”hot” chocolate for the kids that is just warm enough to be called that without scalding their mouths. The kids like them and like going there, because there’s a toy closet and there’s a big space on the floor to play right next to it, with comfy chairs and sofas around for parents to hang out. Which is what we do.

Once we have all our food and drink gathered, I usually settle into my favorite chair by the window,

take a few sips, and start knitting. The kids have their snacks sitting on the floor  

(yes, they’re in their pajamas) and then start playing, and I can watch them, talk with them, and have conversations with whoever else is there while knitting away. I probably get most of my progress done there! If I ever win a knitting prize of some kind, I’ll have to include Java Stop in my list of thank-yous, for providing me with a way to keep my kids entertained while I got my projects done! I’ve certainly gotten farther on Eris there than anywhere else since I took it out of hibernation.

So anyway, Kevin and Ellen don’t have a website, and they don’t have internet access in the café (which means you rarely see someone sitting and staring at a laptop). They do have a cozy, comfy place to hang out and have conversations, read, (or knit, whatever), with excellent coffee and really good breakfast and lunch fare. And they’re big supporters of locally owned stores and community events. And, since there’s a limit to how much I can actually spend there, I figure maybe I can send a few more customers their way.

But not too many. I want to be able to grab my favorite chair when I’m there.

(If you’re wondering, they’re in the historic hotel building at the corner of 3rd and Main in Longmont.)

Anna-Liza here, killing my family slowly with my cooking …

Example: the dinner I made for us last night. On the plus side, I did use the George Foreman Grill for the steaks, which I’d marinated in garlic and worcestershire sauce beforehand. And I did include brussels sprouts.

The down side starts with the butter and pepper added to the brussels sprouts. (My philosophy is that there isn’t a cooked vegetable in the world that doesn’t benefit from a liberal application of melted butter and a judicious application of pepper. Some of them need salt, some don’t.) The mushrooms were sauteed … in about a quarter cup of butter. And the mashed potatoes. Yeah. More butter, and heavy cream and sour cream. (And dill. Hey, it’s green, and it’s leafy, right?)

I had a beer with mine. New Belgium Brewery’s “Trippel“, to be exact.

Yum. And I didn’t have to lick (or kiss) a single pig. I wonder how much time off my life I’m losing for that meal, exactly? But really, a longer life without butter? What kind of a life would that be?

Lyda here.

So, this week I’ve been having trouble going to sleep at night. I’ve been feeling tired but not sleepy, so I’ve been staying up past my bedtime and then struggling to get out of bed in the morning.

Yesterday, I’d had a bottle of caffeinated diet soda later than usual, and I figured that was it last night. The earthquake gave me not a pause, although it was very close to my place.

But what was the problem the rest of the week?

Today, I ate lunch at my desk, and got a can of diet soda out of the machine. A diet soda with caffeine.

And when I tossed the empty can into my recycling sack under my desk, I noticed something.

The new can exactly matched the cans already in there.

Which I drank this week, mostly in the afternoons.

Which were from a 12-pack I brought to work on Tuesday.

Which I bought on Monday.

Without noticing that it was NOT the caffeine-free diet soda.

I am a genius.

Lyda here, wandering randomly “across the blog-o-verse.” (Can’t you hear the song?) And a weird and wonderful blogverse it is!

But I must warn you:

PEEPS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!

Ann and Kay (Mason-Dixon Knitting) give us this seasonally appropriate post.

And then today, Marin posted about her own Peep Diorama creations (bwahahaha) and Red posted about Peeps too.

MULTIPLE PEEP ATTACKS!

Who ya gonna call? and Where No Peep Has Gone Before are my favorites from the Peep Show. Of course.

This peepness lead me to this version of “Thriller”. What better way to spend 5 to 7 with no possibility of parole?

Which lead me, through many twists and turns, to this masterpiece Star Wars parody from the UK. Check out who plays the Emperor! Awesome!

And then I stumbled across this - it’s got everything: nerds from Star Wars, Star Trek and Lord of the Rings battle to be the geekiest of all, and Triumph the Wonder Dog interviewing them all. Language warning - be careful at work, ya’ll.

Those nerds are definitely my kind of peeps, ya’ll. Sorry, couldn’t resist for all the green Peeps in the world.

Excuse me, must go to store for diorama materials.

I can hear the Peep Zombies now….

What’s that they’re saying…?

Sugar… must eat sugar…

With the amount of sugar in my blood, I know I’m in danger.

And by the way, how much candy have you eaten lately?

Really?!

Then what are you doing standing there?

RUN!!

“You say it’s our Blogiversary…”

Anna-Liza posted the first Pollyanna post a year ago today, and I followed the same day with my own first post. I apologize for all the self-referential linking in this post, but hey, it’s our blogiversary!

Anna-Liza here … inserting comments as I see fit. Hey, Lyda doesn’t get it all her own way, you know! So true! Always glad to have you join in! Besides, this was all your idea, you know.

A year ago, I didn’t knit. I have since been assimilated (bwa ha ha ha …) (my BFF, folks - so evil!) and completed four scarves and a few Random Rectangular Things. I even wrote my first knitting pattern.

A year ago, I didn’t have a zombie obsession. It began here, and so far, 43 of my posts include the category “Zombies.” Not including this one. In case ya’ll are keeping track. Presumably to build a case for my eventual commitment. And yet, I’m the one with the Zombie Son. Odd, but well within the usual level of oddness around here. Our “usual level of oddness” being off the charts for most people, of course…

But in re-reading my first post, I see much has remained the same. Resident Sith Master playing video games, check. Tommy the Sith Apprentice Cat trying to kill me, check. Me not dating and generally being a hermit, check. Whining, check. Digressions, check. Two hour minimum phone conversations with BFF, check. Constantly emailing each other strange links and random musings, check.

At least I did finally finish those quilts for Anna-Liza’s boys. Cute pictures of them with quilts here. They are sleeping under them as I type this. Awww.

In this year, we’ve written over 300 posts and had over 22,000 visits to our blog - many visitors were searching for Bruce Willis or “Heathers” or alpaca pictures, but hopefully some of them stuck around. Maybe the ones looking for erotic chicken feathers wandered off. Heh, I added that to the tags for this post. Hi there, erotic chicken feather seekers!

A year ago, I would not have guessed that I would become so addicted to blogging, or that I would have had so much fun exploring the weird and the mundane with ya’ll. I would not have guessed how important ya’ll would become to me, or how many friends I would make through blogging. See? I told ya it would be fun. You are always right. When have I failed to listen to you? Wait, don’t answer that…

It’s been a fun year and we look forward to many many more! Please come out of lurkdom to say happy ‘versary. Yes, do! Even if you were only looking for alpacas…

Anna-Liza, better make up another pot of sweet tea. Or maybe a Ball O’ Mimosas. I’ll get to baking a cake.

CAKE!

“Oh, we’re gonna have a party, party…”