Lyda here.
“Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear.”
I love that movie!
And I’m actually leaving the house tonight to go to a party. No, really. I am. Ya’ll gotta believe me.
Lyda here.
Well, Jose Cuervo gold, anyway. And Attack by Thong gold. And dead cow gold - what would you turn the dead cow into? Weird and funny. Good blog reading.
In other news - it’s officially summer! I celebrated Midsummer - also known as Litha and the Summer Solstice and a lot of other things - Saturday by sweltering in the record-breaking heat enjoying the warmth of the sun. Mostly sitting on the couch, watching TV, doing a bit of reading, taking a nap (hey, napping is a traditional Midsummer activity!). I ran a few errands in the morning - recycling center, library, gas station (gasp!) - and stopped by the grocery store for some fruit and juice. And diet soda - hey, don’t judge. It was so hot, I didn’t really want anything but fruit.
Oh.
And Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. Edible gold!
I watched “Fright Night” (1985) with Roddy McDowell - he was awesome, doing a parody of horror movies and yet playing the role full out. It’s terrific to see a great actor having fun like this. Actor gold! No zombies in this movie, just vampires, but good none the less. Funny, too. And the 80s hair! Heh. Here’s the trailer. And here’s a video tribute. On the Pollyanna scale, I give it one brain out of 5 for violence and gore, and a full 5 brains out of 5 for good horror fun (mostly because of Roddy McDowell). And now of course, I’ll have to see the sequel…
Ice cream and a horror movie. Now that’s a celebration.
“I absolutely adore movies. Even bad ones. I don’t like pretentious ones, but a good bad movie, you must admit, is great.” - Roddy McDowell
I totally agree.
Lyda here. Yeah, I thought that post title would get ya’ll to read. It made the Zombie Army laugh. At least, I think that was laughter…
Okay, join me in some hump day madness, won’t you? #6 & #10 are from my own demented mind.
1.) First, check out Best. Meme. Ever. at Faith’s blog. She’s got links to the origin of this awesome meme. Funny stuff!
I would draw a zombie saying: “Must… have… internet… traditionsssssssssss….” But I can’t figure out how to get it into the post. So just imagine, okay?
2.) What could be better for a hump day than killing zombies? And other free games to while away the endless afternoon…
And in Zombie News from around the globe:
3.) If I were in Atlanta, I would go see this zombie musical.
4.) While we were knitting in public, the zombies were taking over Australia. But politely. Look out, it’s the Dunny Brush of Doom!
5.) Hey, why not both at once? Next June 14th: the Zombie Knitter Uprising!
6.) The big problem with being a zombie knitter?
Yeah.
Blood on the yarn.
7.) Here’s a video tribute to zombies and the people who kill them. How many of these movies have you seen? Warning: Graphic violence.
8.) Check out Otto, a gay zombie looking for love. And flesh. Not necessarily in that order. Warning: This movie trailer is explicit and gory; definitely NOT suitable for work.
Ya’ll thought I was kidding about the humping part?
9.) For a more intellectual approach to zombies, read this. Or this - Warning! plot spoilers for “The Happening”.
10.) Why does it take zombie knitters longer to finish a project?
Wait for it…
Zombie knitters drop their balls.
Lyda here.
Check out the game from Linda / knitche’s post here. I couldn’t figure it out on Flickr. Maybe the lack of sleep.
Then I thought I’d just Google the images, but because of the copyright thing, I decided… better not.
So I’ve used YouTube videos instead.
WARNING: The sound varies a lot on these videos - some are really loud, some are quieter. Ya’ll may have to keep your hand on the volume control as you open each one. And a couple have adult language, but I’ve marked those. Don’t want anyone to get in trouble at work, ya know.
Not that ya’ll are reading this at work at all. Oh no. That would never happen… But I digress…
The Twisted Game
1 - Type your answer to each of the questions below into YouTube Search.
2 - Pick a video.
3 - Link it to your answer.
The Questions:
1. What is your first name? Lyda (Adult Language warning!) And yes, I am a four-wheel off-road vehicle. I think the song particularly suits this time in my life…
What is your quest? Oh wait, digressing again…
2. What is your favorite food? Chocolate cake These guys are funny! And ya’ll know I love their name.
3. What high school did you go to? Richard King That song came out when I was in high school (yes, I am ancient, ya’ll show some respect) - and pretty much describes my high school experience.
4. What is your favorite color? Purple. “Help me.”
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Harrison Ford! But is he grumpy? (Adult Language warning!) Jackie Chan! But is he nuts? Wait, I’ve got it:
ERIC IDLE!! Larger than frogs, indeed. That’s what she said.
6. Favorite drink? Diet Dr. Pepper. Note the BEEFCAKE. Do I know what ya’ll like or what?
7. Dream vacation? Maui. I’ll feel right at home.
8. Favorite dessert? CAKE!! Eddie Izzard - I bet ya’ll can’t watch just one.
9. What you want to be when you grow up? Writer. It’s all their fault. Artist. Not that kind of artist…
Wait, I’m already a writer and an artist.
I know what I want to be: RICH! Half-naked pirates! I know what ya’ll like.
10. What do you love most in life? My son, the Resident Sith Master.
Bonus Star Wars video: That’s what she said!
11. One Word to describe you. Weird. If you don’t like Weird Al, how about this? That’s what I thought.
12. Your blog name. Pollyanna. Check out the stunt sheep about a minute & a half in…
Well, shoot. Now I want to watch the whole movie…
Lyda here.
Ya’ll have to check this out. Too funny!
And there’s this from Weird Al.
And this for Marin, which has nothing to do with Star Wars but is damn funny. And I do mean “Damn.”
May the Farce be with you!
Hi, Anna-Liza here. Boy, it’s nice to have Lyda back after her temporary semi-silence! (How’s The List going, girlfriend?)
Things have warmed up here since the Drippy, Foggy, Rainy Memorial Day. I’ve even worn sleeveless tops a few times! (You need to remember that I won’t wear short sleeves until it’s at least 75 degrees out, maybe more.) One day last week, Darlin’ K picked me up from work and we went for a nice stroll around downtown Loveland. The sun and the warmth felt really, really good. Getting into the hot car even felt good.
I took a couple of days off. We had originally planned to go to Apogaea, but a number of things made us decide not to go after all. I decided not to change my vacation days, though. Things have been busy at work and busy at home, with more busyness pretty much all through the rest of June, so a couple days to chill just sounded about as wonderful as chocolate covered strawberries with champagne. Maybe more wonderful–I’m damn picky about champagne. Too much of the bottom-of-the-barrel pseuo-champagne at college cast parties, I guess. (Excuse me while I go rinse out my mouth.)
Thursday was a rainy, drippy, chilly day again. I happened to receive a large shopping bag full of free yarn recently, almost all of which was in loose skeins and rather tangled. A lot of it appears to be a rayon/alpaca/wool blend in nice colors, so I decided it was worth the work to wind it all up. So my friend Jean (who used to have Knit One, Purl Too in Longmont) let me have her swift, ball winder, and measuring thingy on a long term loan.
I spent a lot of time with the ball winding on Thursday as a result, and also took some time to go to the library (this is my idea of fun, y’all. I’m so exciting). The kidlets both like the ball winder, so they’ve been helping. I had several a lot of unwound skeins in the stash already, so this is going to be a longish project. I’ve got somewhere between 10 and 15 done. The yardage ranges from 600 (laceweight) to 5 (for something that was frogged that had stripes). I’ve gotten a little further on the mystery gift project, which is at a very boring knitting stage, I’m afraid, but no further at all on any socks. And I’m just itching to cast on something new … perhaps this? Or possibly some kind of lacy shrug I can wear to work … “lace” seems to be the theme of all the new stuff I’m looking at. Not that I don’t have other things to distract me already from my deadline knitting … but I digress.
Friday was a much nicer day — 70s and sunny. Darlin’ K had to finish some projects on Thursday, but he took Friday off and we spent the whole day together. It’s nice to rediscover uninterrupted conversation (and other things) once in a while! We had breakfast and aforementioned conversation at Java Stop, and later we went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. That was a really perfect bit of action fluff, exactly what we were in the mood for. Roger Ebert’s review (follow the previous link) sums the whole thing up really well. I have to say that Shia LaBoeuf’s initial appearance channeling Marlon Brando was really fun, but he’s not terribly convincing as a switchblade-wielding biker. But as the story developed, I’m not sure he was supposed to be convincing. And Cate Blanchett was really hot in her sword-wielding, sleek and intense Russian villainess way.
I have to admit, I’m really not willing to spend money to see “challenging” or “deep” movies anymore. Life itself is challenging enough–if I’m paying for entertainment, it better be FUN! I can get “challenging” and “deep” just looking around, thankyouverymuch. And Darlin’ K and I spent a very fun day, as I’m sure you can imagine. And we even picked up the kidlets from day camp/preschool on time. (Just.)
I just got Marianne Williamson’s new book about midlife (for men and women) out of the library. I think it will be good, but I haven’t done more than read the dust jacket. It’s basically about midlife being a time to refocus and live more in our own integrity, rather than scattering our energies about as we did when we were younger–a time to live more deeply than ever. And when I say “we”, I mean “I”. Anyway, I’m sure it will fit into the Reading in Wonderland Challenge, but I’m not exactly sure where yet. I’ll let you know.
But first, I need to finish Tamora Pierce’s Protector of the Small series. Escapism and fluff, a sovereign remedy for what ails you. That and lace-oriented startitis. And anticipation of the Wool Market (in just a week! Oh boy!!) And four evenings of shaman-led workshops and SolFest later this month (here’s more info) …
… and this lamp.
Lyda here. I’m waiting for word on possible temporary assignments for me, so ya’ll keep your fingers crossed for me, ‘kay? Yeah, I’m still Desperately Seeking Work.
Writer. Artist. Teacher. Office Manager. Organizer Extraordinare. Hard to believe employers aren’t banging down my door, isn’t it? But so far, only the Zombie Army is at the door. And they don’t care about my mad skillz. They just love me for my brain. And my heart.
Maybe my liver…
But I digress…
Of course, one day I won’t need to earn a living. The Resident Sith Master will be absolute ruler of the world, which will make me Grand Empress Dowager and then I will live in the lavish style to which I would like to become accustomed.
But I digress again…
I named this post from the Disney film “Freaky Friday” which I would have sworn starred Hayley Mills. Who is one of my favorite actresses, and not just because she did “Pollyanna” the year I was born. And I would post a picture of her, thus ensuring future hits, but I can’t figure out how to get it posted. Curses and swearwords! Another freaky thing!
Best Hayley Mills line ever? “Listen! I have the most scathingly brilliant idea!” –as Mary in “The Trouble with Angels” (1966).
But it was not Hayley Mills, it was Jodie Foster in the 1976 ”Freaky Friday“. If I could be wrong about this, what else do I not know that I think I know??? Freaky, ya’ll.
They did a 2003 “Freaky Friday” remake with Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan. I wonder what the book is like…? The author wrote the 1976 screenplay. Digressing again…
At least I got some sleep last night. Ya’ll have no idea what a relief that is, after several weeks of waking up every two hours. At least, I hope ya’ll don’t know what that’s like. I didn’t sleep through the night, but I was able to fall back asleep when I did wake up. Ya’ll, I’ve even stopped drinking caffeine! I don’t have trouble falling asleep; I just don’t stay asleep. The medical opinion is that it’s stress. If I won the lottery or otherwise received large amounts of cash, the stress would go away. Hello, Goddess of Money, are you listening??
Anyway, I’m having a freaky day. It started with the shower. Our shower is currently draining really slowly, so I’m taking really fast showers, which is weird for me. I’m saving water, at least. Looking on the bright side… Hey, they don’t call me Pollyanna for nothing!
Today, while in the shower, I heard a weird glugging noise. When I got out of the shower, I noticed that there was water in the (separate) bathtub. Very dirty water. Not water from my shower. Backed-up sewer water. Yuck. Using the shower made water back up into the bathtub. Not good. So, we need a plumber. Hey, Mario!
The next freaky thing - I got a call about a possible temporary assignment. The agency asked me if I know how to do “vlookup” in Excel. Huh? Now, I’m pretty darn good on Excel, ya’ll, but I had no idea what they were talking about. I don’t have Excel on my computer, so I got gussied up in my work clothes and went down to the agency. Where I took an Excel test which I aced - which did not mention “vlookup”. So I took another Excel test, which I also aced. Nope, no “vlookup.” While I was there, I took tests on Accounts Payable and Accounts Receivable, because they said they get a lot of call for that. I did well on them too. I talked on the phone to someone who knew what “vlookup” was. Turns out, it’s a formula in Excel.
Then I headed for home, and played with this formula on the spreadsheet program on my computer (it’s not Excel, it only plays Excel on my computer). So now I know what the formula does, and sort of how to do it. What I don’t know is, why? Why would you use this formula? Anyone out there know?
Anyway, that was freaky for little Miss Software Expert…
While I was waiting for the phone call about the assignment, I remembered that I had a doctor’s appointment. So I hustled off there. The blood tests he ordered a week ago? Came back normal (eliminating a host of not-good illnesses). But we still don’t know why I can’t breathe well, or why the medicine isn’t helping, or why I have chest pain. So, of course, he ordered more tests. One next week, the other a week later.
Why do I never get anything easy to diagnose? It’s like my body is playing some weird kind of Jeopardy. I’ll take “Mystery Ailments” for $2000, Alex. My body is freaky.
So I’ve got that going for me.
On the way home, I stopped at the bank and deposited some checks and asked for my balance. Not really freaky, but disappointing.
So, I’ll be having a garage sale next weekend. I’d do it this weekend, but RSM is at his dad’s house, and I need his help. Which gives me this weekend to search out lots of things to sell. I’m tempted to sell everything not nailed down, but I’m sure RSM will restrain me from selling anything important.
Like video games.
Or the sewing machine.
The cat.
My fiber stash.
Ya’ll know. The essentials.
For now, I’m going to open a bottle of wine and turn on the tube and watch something freaky.
Have a scathingly brilliant weekend, ya’ll.
Lyda here. We need a Random Weirdness post, because it’s Wednesday, and because it’s June…
“…June, June, June, Just because it’s June! June! June!”
Sorry about that. The theater geekiness never goes away; it just morphs into sudden bursts of song for no apparent reason. And other weird digressions…
Before we get to today’s Random Weirdness, a few blogiverse items:
1.) Most importantly, go over to Frank’s blog and post a comment that’s funny / cheerful / supportive. A joke, a link to a silly site. We love you, Frank! Get well!
2.) As your reward, go over to Crazy Aunt Purl and enter the contest to win a stack of books from Laurie! How generous I am to tell ya’ll about this, as I’ve entered the contest myself (she had me at “free books”). Now ya’ll know how much Pollyanna loves ya.
3.) So ya’ll can plan ahead: Saturday, June 14th is World Wide Knit In Public Day. That link is the official site; you can find a KIP near you, or host a KIP - even a virtual KIP. Ya’ll, I can’t take credit for knowing about this in advance this year - I read about it here on diknit’s blog.
Post a comment and tell us where you will be knitting in public!
And let us know if ya’ll want us to host a Hermit’s Virtual KIP here at Pollyanna’s. Virtual sweet tea, virtual cake, and the Zombie Army! Awesome! Actually, Anna-Liza will probably be KIP for real, so I might be on my own on this one.
Okay, on to the Random Weirdness:
1.) Toy Vault makes Princess Bride toys - every girl’s dream, a Dread Pirate Roberts of her very own! They make Monty Python stuff : Tim the Enchanter hats! The Black Knight, with detachable limbs! And for the final touch for Marin’s desk - a Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth stapler! Here’s where to buy their stuff. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
2.) Zombie cats!
3.) Actually EFFECTIVE tech support! Heh.
4.) How do you know you’ve had enough to drink? Now.
5.) Among recent searches that lead people to our blog, there was the usual: “Bruce Willis”, “heathers”, variations on “pollyanna” and “rainbow”.
There was the slightly unusual: “zombie movies domesticated” - what, they don’t like wild zombies??
And there was the uber cool: “cosmic”. I love that you can find us by searching for “cosmic”. That’s how cool the Pollyannas are, ya’ll!
6.) And finally, does someone want to explain it to this guy? Anyone? Anyone?
Lyda here. Been busily applying for jobs and otherwise working on The List (see, Anna-Liza, I am working on it).
But I just had to share this Black Knight graph.
And of course, this:
more graph humor and song chart memes
“The Princess Bride!” I need to watch it again very soon!
Have fun storming the castle!
Lyda here. Enough whining. Let’s get straight to the serial killers.
Sunday I watched “Scream 2” on TV. It was okay, and sometimes pretty funny. I haven’t seen the original. The sequel starts at a movie theater - one of the original characters having written a book about the experiences shown in the first movie, which was then made into a movie. Following so far? The movie-within-a-movie gives the killer a chance to strike two people down in a theater full of teenagers wearing masks just like the killer’s and carrying fake knives. Which was actually funny in a sick and twisted kind of way. “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.”
I suspect that more than the language had been altered for TV. The original might be gorier, but this version wasn’t gory at all. I didn’t think it was scary either. Maybe because I was watching in the afternoon, with The Dread Cat Tommy guarding me - it counts as guarding when he’s curled up sleeping next to me on the couch, right? - and my sewing machine humming away. Or it may be that they had cut the scarier parts out - certainly there were fewer shots of the dead bodies than one would expect. Maybe it was just the stupid mask the killer wears - hard to be afraid of that.
Maybe it’s because this movie is very aware of itself as a movie. It’s a scary movie that’s a send-up of scary movies. And that makes it much less scary.
Or it may be that my zombie movie watching has toughened me up, made me less scared of stuff of the screen. Plus, I watch “Bones” and “CSI” and such now. Certainly, I am less freaked out by scary screen conventions - bodies, grotesque deaths, killers leaping out at their victims - than I used to be. Or maybe it’s just that real life seems scarier right now than any movie could be… but let’s not go there…
And so often the victims are hard to sympathize with. They do such dumb things - Have you noticed? Of course you have - that I just feel like smacking them.
“I’m alone, and there’s a weird noise coming from upstairs. Think I’ll go investigate.” If the character - who is always female - is wearing a see-through nightie and carrying a candle rather than a weapon, so much the better.
As for the male characters, as the body count rises, it just makes them want sex. ”All of our friends are disappearing one by one. Let’s go skinny dipping in the lake.” Is it a life-affirming drive? “I know your best friend and your parents have just been horribly murdered. Let’s get it on. It will make you feel better. No, really it will, baby.”
I did see another movie this weekend - some stupid movie of the week, I don’t even know the name, it was pretty lame. Toward the end, the woman trips and falls with a hurt leg - the other major “woman in peril” cliche - but at least in this movie, it turns out - she’s faking. The killer leans over her and she stabs him really hard with a spiky garden tool and then runs away.
It was the best part of the movie, really, other than the actor who played her dad (of course the killer had taken out the dad early - my favorite character is always the first to die). Also, the killer kept seeing his wife (whom he had murdered before the movie started) and having conversations with her which was weird especially in my three-hours-of-sleep, zombie-like state. The conversations with the dead wife is what clues our heroine in that this new “perfect” man in her life is totally gonzo.
Wisdom from scary movies: If a guy seems way too perfect, he probably is. If someone seems crazy, they probably are.
In other words: Suspect everybody. Because any and all of them can be insane killers. Even if - especially if - the actor/actress is known for comedy sidekick roles.
And remember the Third Rule: Never, ever, under any circumstances assume that the killer is dead.
Really, I prefer zombies to serial killers.
For one thing, they can’t really pretend to be a friendly helpful neighbor. The walk gives them away. And the rotting flesh, that’s a hint too.
You always know who they are. The brain eating is another big clue.
And they never seduce their victims. Ewww.
