Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom

Lyda here. Is there any other kind of depression? I mean, no one talks about the Depression of Lightheartedness. The Depression of Fantasticness. But I’m digressing. Already. As Maggie Simpson once said, “This is indeed a disturbing universe.”

I’ve been struggling especially this last month, resulting in very few posts, and in the need for Anna-Liza to smack me repeatedly - thanks BFF, I need that. I’ll try not to dwell, but let me just say, being poor and unemployed sucks.

Does anyone need a professional organizer? A writer? An office manager? A bookkeeper? A proofreader? I can be bought! That’s what he said.  Seriously, I need work. Anyone? Anyone? 

Ya’ll send “Lyda gets a fabulous job” vibes, okay?

Or, ”Lyda wins the lottery so she never has to work ever again” vibes. I’m easy. But ya’ll already knew that. 

And if I did win the lottery, I would be very generous with sharing the wealth. There would be gifts. Fiber gifts. I’m just saying…

I spent last week digging a company we shall call Procrastinators R Us out of over six months of back filing - each month’s filing being three to five feet tall. It took all week and lots of muscle power. Sheesh, people, keep up with the filing! The back you save could be mine! 

The surreal part was that their filing room - filled with huge shelves that you can move back and forth on tracks via a big crank - was a converted vault and had no air circulation.

This Pollyanna was sweating… sorry, Grandma, I mean, “glowing”… like a horse every day.

It was like being trapped in “Metropolis.”

But without the robot.

I was not sweating like a pig - pigs don’t sweat. That’s why they roll in mud - to moisten their skin and cool off. Mud also protects against sunburn. And that is your Lick The Pig Fact of the Day. 

Look - “The Joy of Pigs” ! A must-see NATURE video. Just look at the cute lickable piggies on that link!

Shit, I’m digressing again…

Doing filing for a solid week did make me appreciate all the jobs I’ve ever had that were NOT solid filing. And also, all the jobs where the room temperature was less than 85 degrees.

Meanwhile, in other whining…

My sleep has been weird; I keep waking up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep again. And I’m not sleepy at my normal bedtime, so I’ve been staying up late. Also, I’ve pretty much lost my appetite, which is very unusual for me. As one could tell by looking at me, although hopefully one would be too polite to say so.  I’ve been watching TV at weird hours (more on that in the next post), and working late into the night on my quilting Mystery Projects.

Yes, I know, how evil I am to keep mentioning the Mystery Projects when I cannot tell you about them yet. Bwahahaha!  But I can report that I’m done with three of them - completely, totally done. Three - three F.O.s! Ah-ah-ah!  And the others are getting very close to completion. Soon I will ship them out - “I’ll ship you, my pretties… and your little dog too!” … “These things have to be done delicately, delicately…” - and then I will at last be able to post about them.

“Anticipation… Antici-paaation… It’s making me wait…”

Oh, now I’m craving thick fries with ketchup.

“I digress, therefore I am…”

I’ll even post a tutorial about the Mystery Projects, which are actually quite fun and go quickly.

If you don’t do 7 or 8 all at once.

Which is of course what I am doing.

Because I am insane.

But ya’ll knew that, didn’t you?

Lyda here.

All week, I’ve been quilting away at the Mystery Projects. I’m nearing completion on them, and it has been a lot of fun. Instead of doing one thing at a time, I of course did my usual overachievement thing, and worked on six things at once.

Because I’m insane.

I’ll hopefully finish one up tonight, and the others during this week. Five of them will be heading out as gifts, and I’d like to get them done by Sunday.

I’ll post about the one that’s for me, and maybe write a tutorial on it - once it’s done. We shall see.

Mystery, suspense, excitement - it’s like the holidays all over again, isn’t it?!

Lyda here. Chillin’ at home. Or rather, sweating at home. It’s still way too hot here but they are promising it’s going to cool down tonight. Please!  I haven’t posted much lately, so it’s time to catch up. Which mostly means - movie reviews and babbling about books.

And zombies. Always zombies.

But first, a very beleted Happy Mom’s Day to ya’ll and your moms! I had a great day filled with explosions and zombies, and best of all, time with the Resident Sith Master. What more could this Mom want?

We went and saw Iron Man (2007) - which was fun and action-packed. Thanks to GAAE brother, who was a serious collector of comic books once upon a time, I’d read the original Iron Man comics, and I wasn’t sure about Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. But he brought humor to the role, and made the character’s development from self-absorbed jerk to hero believable. Gwyneth Paltrow was excellent as the smart and subtly sexy Pepper Potts. And Terence Howard - hello, Hollywood, this guy is awesome, please cast him more! - was great as Tony’s best friend and will hopefully have an even bigger role in the sequel in the works. Look for a quick cameo by Stan Lee (creator of Iron Man and Spiderman, among others) - Tony mistakes him for Hugh Hefner. Stay through the credits for Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury telling Tony to join The Avengers. This movie is a bit violent for the youngest, but probably okay for most tweens.

To add to the Mom Day awesomeness, RSM gave me a great gift: a special edition DVD of I Am Legend (my review here and Pollyanna’s Brain score here)  with two versions of the film - the theatrical release, and an alternative theatrical version “with controversial ending” to quote the box. Of course, we watched the alternative version that very day. We like the alternative even better, but ya’ll will have to see it for yourselves - no spoilers here.

This movie is based on Richard Matheson’s 1954 book, “I Am Legend“, and was also adapted for The Last Man on Earth (1964) with Vincent Price, and The Omega Man (1971) with Charlton Heston. I could read the book for the Reading in Wonderland Challenge. For me, it would count as both #1 - a fiction book in a genre I don’t usually read (I watch horror, but don’t read it), and #6 - a book that has been made into a film. And then of course I would need to watch the film again. And watch the other two films.

For thoroughness. Ya’ll know.

Now, this weekend, RSM was off with his dad, so I checked out (for free! I love the library!)  some things to watch, and quilted all weekend.

Yes, I am quilting up a storm making Mystery Teeny Tiny Squares Projects. Top secret for now, but all will be revealed in the fullness of time. Sewing. Quilting. Ironing.

In the 95 plus heat.

Because I am insane.

But I digress…

It had been recommended to me multiple times over the years, so I checked out Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997). Silly, girly, and giddy. The story is unbelievable - but I didn’t care. The clothes are awesomely over the top, the 80s soundtrack rocks, and it made me happy to see the evil girls get their come-uppance and the fun girls win at last. Pure fun if you’re in the right mood for it.

I also checked out a BBC classic: a three-episode box set of Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple starring Joan Hickson. I watched the first two episodes - this one and this one - and am looking forward to the third. There is something so comforting about Miss Marple, and not only because she knits. She’s definitely one of the characters I’d most like to invite to tea.

In fact, it would be interesting to have Miss Marple and Commander Sam Vimes sit down to tea together, don’t ya’ll think?

Personally, I don’t think Vimes looks like that sketch. See the end of that link for casting suggestions. Sam Neill… hmmm. The L-Space Web is a must for Terry Pratchett fans. And has links to vendors of fun Discworld stuff, including CMOT Dibbler’s where you can get your own ”I Still Aten’t Dead” pin.

Oh, but I digress again…

What characters would you invite to tea? Or for drinks? And can I come too? I promise to leave the Zombie Army at home.

Lyda here. I’ve had a bit of extra time this week - which is why I had time to make up the reading challenge.

I went to the library and grabbed some books, and I’ve already finished my “fun” book (category #5) for the challenge: “Blood Is The New Black” by Valerie Stivers. A biting look at the bloodsucking fashion industry, if you get my drift. Blood, biting, a word beginning with “V” - yeah, ya’ll know what I’m talking about.  I started it yesterday, fell asleep reading it, grabbed it as soon as I woke up, and I finished it up over breakfast this morning.  Just a light semi-mystery book, with some quirky twists and an appealing heroine. Not really scary, but funny and quick to read. This is the author’s first book; it will be interesting to see what she writes next.

I love reading in bed in the morning. And at night. And in the afternoon. Reading in bed is one of life’s underrated pleasures. Not that there aren’t other good things to do in bed. Ya’ll know.

I had a great surprise visit from the Irish Beauty and her husband yesterday. We went to lunch and caught up over eggrolls. I definitely don’t see her often enough now that she’s living in the desert. After they got back home, she called and we talked for a couple more hours. We definitely must do this more often.

I also stitched together some more of my 2-inch squares, as I am making… mystery things for mystery recipients. All will be revealed in the fullness of time. And once the recipients get their goodies. Don’t hold your breath - might take a while.

I want to experiment a bit with quilting stitching before I quilt the Increasingly Inaccurately Named “Easy” Heart Quilt. And these little projects will give me the perfect chance to try some things out.

Tommy is curled up with his head upside down, snoring gently under my chair. “Stargate: SG 1″ is coming on in, and I have two movies from the library to watch - including a zombie flick. I may not leave the house today.

Life is good.

Lyda here. Must report a major triumph in the progress on The Increasingly Inaccurately Named “Easy” Heart Quilt.

All of the strips of cloth are sewn together into one magnificent quilt top!!

I stitched the last two rows last night. I actually stitched a bit yesterday morning before work. Yes, before work. Because - say it with me - I AM INSANE.

The quilt top is all pieced together. Okay, maybe it’s only about 19 inches by 36 inches. BUT IT IS DONE.

After the stitching was done, I trimmed the seam allowances, and then ironed the quilt top. And loved it and petted it and called it George. I wish I had picture to show you. I think Anna-Liza would agree, that as well as being insanely obsessive, I am a bit critical of my own work. Heh, a bit. But even I have to say this looks pretty good.

The Resident Sith Master said it looks great and he’s much more objective. He also asked, “Are you ever going to make yourself a quilt?” Because I never have. Soon. I will probably do a baby quilt and a toddler quilt first, as someone in the family is expecting. But shush, in case these quilts turn out to be high school graduation gifts instead… But I will not be making a queen-size quilt for myself out of freakin’ two-inch squares. At least not exclusively. Ya’ll remind me of this in a month or two. Please? Hello? Bueller? Bueller?

And then he said, “It would really suck if you did all this work and then didn’t like it.” My innocent, non-crafting son.  When I told him that that has happened to me with other quilts, he just shook his head and went back to his video game. I think he may have muttered, “Quilters are weird.” Or maybe it was “Moms are weird.” He’s right either way, yes?

Has that ever happened to ya’ll? You work and work on a project (quilted, knitted, crochet, whatever), and when it’s done, you look at it and think: Meh.  Don’t ya’ll hate that?

I’ve learned that I must absolutely love the fabric - or at least the majority of it - when I’m making selections for a quilt. Even though it’s for someone else.

Once I offered to make a baby quilt for a friend’s daughter, and they insisted on pink. Ya’ll know, I’m not a fan of pastels. And definitely not pastel pink. I got too much of it as a girl and I wasn’t about to foist Hideous Pinkness on this child. Instead, I found the brightest hottest fushia fabric possible, and some other bright pinks. And made a quilt of shades of pink, from one small square at the middle in pale pink (the color the parents requested) shading to hot fushia at the edges. And I used the fushia for the backing and the edges.

Now I would probably use prints that included pinks and other colors. Also, I never again asked the parents what they wanted in the baby quilt. Heh.  But at the time I was making a point. A quilting rebel, that’s me.

But I digress…

Tonight I’ll move on to the backing. I’ll probably use solid red, as with a wall hanging the back doesn’t need to be fancy. And then I’ll start actually quilting the layers. I’m working on the design for the quilting.

Then I’ll complete it with edging - probably solid red for a framing effect - and a hanging pocket on the back.

But for now - - I’m doing the happy dance! The quilt top is together! 

Lyda here. Boy, do I wish I could have sat there with Anna-Liza this weekend, knitting and talking and watching her kids play in that neat coffee shop she wrote about yesterday. I think she posted pictures as part of her campaign to get me to move to Colorado. Yes, I am tempted. And I don’t even drink coffee. But hot chocolate… yum. But most of all - time with my BFF.

We did talk on the phone. For hours. Thank goodness for unlimited weekend calling.

We’re having another heat wave here in So. Cal. Yes, there is at least one fire burning - not near us.  Yes, it’s miserable - it was 95 degrees at our place yesterday, and here at the coast we don’t normally get temperatures that high even in August. On the other hand, Anna-Liza said they had snow on Saturday. We discussed trading weather for a day - we would love a day of snow, and she would like a warm summery day. Unfortunately, the weather gods and goddesses did not grant our request.  Or maybe the Quantum Butterfly is just flapping its wings too much. The heat does not make the breathing any better. Pant.

Friday night, the Resident Sith Master went to a movie with friends, and I watched “The Jane Austen Book Club” with the Dread Cat Tommy. He fell asleep; I enjoyed the movie and even watched all the special features before RSM came home. I didn’t read the book.  The movie was fun, with some really good actresses playing off each other. Kathy Baker, Maria Bello, Emily Blunt, Amy Brenneman, Maggie Grace, and Lynn Redgrave. And the men were also good and very nice to look at. Hugh Dancy , Marc Blucas and Kevin Zegers - all a bit young for my taste, but very cute. Jimmy Smits, looking very good in his tux, definitely to my taste. Light girly entertainment, just what I was in the mood for.

Practically all weekend, while the Resident Sith Master played video games and I watched TV, I worked on The Increasingly Inaccurately Named “Easy” Heart Quilt. Which involved actual ironing. In the heat. Because I am insane. I also cooked - actually cooked with heat - breakfast and dinner both Saturday and Sunday. Yes, thank you, I would like a medal. But I digress…

Saturday, I gently picked out stitches on one square that was wrong, and then sewed a replacement square in place. Directional fabric can be a pain when you have a feline assistant who likes to move the fabric around.

I passed the halfway mark on stitching together the rows for the quilt top. By lunch time Sunday, I passed the two-thirds mark. By bedtime last night, I had sewn all but the last four rows together. It looks good at this point. All fingers crossed.

I will probably finish sewing the rows together tonight. Then I will need to figure out the binding, and the backing which will include a way to hang the finished quilt.

After I iron the quilt top. And pet it and love it and call it George.

Obsession. It’s not just a perfume.

“Still crazy…”

Lyda here. I did have a good weekend. Not only did I watch “Black Sheep” and a lot of TV, I got some errands done and worked in the garden. I didn’t get to the second movie yet, but I have it for a week, so…

And I worked on the Increasingly Inaccuractly Named “Easy” Heart Quilt.

Mostly I worked on the quilt all weekend, with minor breaks for food, sleep, and errands. Believe me, I wouldn’t have done those if I hadn’t had to, but a person needs food. And drugs  legally prescribed medication.

All 36 rows were completed by Saturday. So I started sewing the rows together into the quilt top.

But first - ya’ll knew it wouldn’t be that easy, right? - I had to do the dreaded ironing of the seams.

I ironed the first row and held it up to the light. And decided I need to trim the seam allowances.

The 1/4″ seam allowances were showing through the fabric, and I didn’t like that. The pieces I cut out were two-inch squares. The finished size in the quilt of each square should be one inch. I could have cut 1 1/2″ squares, but the seams would have been difficult to sew on my machine, and  would have left me no margin for error. Plus my cutting board only has one-inch intervals marked on it.

So, I trimmed the seams on the first four rows, ironed them, and stitched them together using 1/4″ seam allowances for the row-joining seams. And then trimmed those long seams.

Then I ironed the piece I had just created. I held it up to admire it. Four rows together! Woo-hoo!

And then I saw it. The very first row had two pieces in the wrong places. Which totally messed up the heart pattern.

This shall not stand! But I could see how to fix it.

I carefully pulled out the stitches in the seam between row 1 and row 2  - but only for the length of three squares in each of the two spots I needed to change. I weilded my seam ripper very slowly. “These things must be done delicately. Delicately. Or you hurt the magic.”  Then I pulled out the stitches connecting the three squares in each spot on the row, flipped them around, and sewed them back in place. And presto! A perfect row.

And a confirmation that the 1/4″ seam allowances were definitely the way to go, despite the need to trim them later. Sewing 1/8″ seam allowances - - not easy on my machine.

After that, I proceeded, but with more caution. I checked the pattern repeatedly before trimming the next rows. Then checked it again before trimming the long joining seams.

By the end of Sunday, I had 11 rows stitched together - yes, correctly, thank you very much. I didn’t have to rip any more seams.

I also discovered that some of the red fabrics are bleeding onto my ironing board cover. Which means I need to be very careful ironing the yellows which come next. I’ll use a pressing cloth (AKA an old t-shirt or maybe even a paper towel) so the red doesn’t transfer onto the yellows. It also means that I need to be careful when I use these fabrics for other projects. This quilt will be a wall-hanging, so it doesn’t really need to be washable. But other projects might.

Almost a third of the quilt top sewn together. The final look is beginning to emerge. I like it and I think it will be beautiful.

And ya’ll, if I ever try to make a bigger quilt with such teeny tiny squares, please stop me.

Now I have to go see if I can find that pattern Jane is looking for…

Lyda here. Worked on the Increasingly Inaccurately Named “Easy” Heart Quilt last night and most of today.

All the teeny tiny squares are now sewn together into rows.

I now have 36 rows of fabric.

Now, to iron all the seams (so many many seams), and then pin together the rows. And sew thirty-five more seams. At least these will be longer than two inches each.

Then I will have a quilt top. At that point, I will choose the backing fabric (at this point I’m thinking I’ll just use solid red, since it will be hanging against the wall but we shall see).

Which is good. Because I have all kinds of new ideas for the next quilting projects… I know, I know, I’ll never learn…

Today I also ventured out into the garden to do battle with the weeds. Scary, kids! I got most of the little garden cleared out, including dumping the dead stuff from the pots. Time to start fresh. Some of the plants in the ground survived the long dry winter - including the bush with the red flowers that has made it through all my gardening disasters so far. It’s a really resilent plant. I’ll see if I can find the name and add it here, in case there are any other neglectful  sporadic gardeners out there who need a shade plant.

Tomorrow, I will watch two movies - one has ZOMBIES! and the other is a chick flick, reviews to come - and work on the quilt. And also, run some errands. Like grocery shopping. ‘Cause Sith Masters demand food every single day. They are weird like that. All that non-fiber stuff can really interrupt the important crafting!

 

see more funny graphs
 
Ya’ll know this is Lyda, right? And I’m such a dork. Ya’ll will notice that once the percentage of zombies gets to 100, there is no terror because everyone is infected!

There will be blog posts this weekend, I hope. And renting of movies to share with ya’ll.

And definitely sewing teeny tiny seams to create rows and rows of fabric made up of teeny tiny squares… with the Dread Cat Tommy’s help of course.

And I plan on getting some more yarn for the scarf I’m going to make for the Resident Sith Master. He liked GAAE brother’s scarf a lot, so this one will be similar, but with fringe. Sith Masters apparently need fringe on their scarves. It probably relates in some way to their evil Force powers, so I didn’t ask.

Of course we live in Southern California, and he doesn’t really NEED a scarf, but maybe he’ll decide to go to college in one of those snowy states. Or take up skiing. Or something. Anyway, does a mom need a reason to knit her son a scarf? I think not. I know ya’ll will agree with that.

It’s going to be a fiber-licious weekend.

Lyda here. I came home Friday to a very clean home. The Resident Sith Master had vacuumed, mopped the kitchen floor, taken out the trash and recycling, and swept the concrete patio in the side garden. For good measure, he swept the front entryway too. I only asked him to sweep the patio - the rest he did on his own.

Get your own Sith Master. I’m keeping this one.

Saturday, I did my own chores (started the laundry, paid some bills, gave the bathroom a quick swipe or two, tended to the cat’s needs - you know, fun stuff) and then headed for my main event of the weekend: I pulled out the Increasingly Inaccurately Named ‘Easy’ Heart Quilt, and the sewing machine.

There are a lot of two-inch squares in this quilt. Have I mentioned that? 36 rows of 19 squares each. 684 squares, to be exact.

Six hundred eighty-four pieces.

For a quilt that will be 19 inches by 36 inches.

I am insane.

We went to a game store so RSM could use the gift card a friend had given him, and he got two new games. “Universe at War: Earth Assault” and “Viking: Battle for Asgard” - he says they are both really fun and he’s glad he got them. We also stopped for more pins at the fabric store - just in and out, I swear! Heh, that’s what he said.

Then home for games for him, and for me, pinning together the rest of the quilt rows - each row also has a piece of paper pinned to it with the row’s number on it - then stitching two-inch seams.

There will be over six hundred two-inch seams.

Completely and utterly bonkers.

I worked most of Saturday afternoon, and then got up fairly early this morning - at Tommy the Sith Apprentice Cat’s insistence - and sewed some more.

The getting-up-early would not have been a problem; I usually get up early. Except… Anna-Liza called last night at 9 p.m. We were on the phone for… a while.

Past midnight.

Actually, past one.

Would you believe 1:30? And of course, 2:30 for her. Proving I’m not the only crazy Pollyanna.

And no, I’m not telling ya’ll what we talked about, although politics and sex and the politics of sex were all touched upon… along with eleventy-billion other things. And there was lots and lots of laughing, and lots of her wise and funny brillance.

Get your own BFF. I’m keeping this one.

The Dread Cat Tommy knew I’d been up really late, of course. Sleep deprivation is just one of his many torture techniques.

I tell ya’ll, he’s trying to kill me.

But I digress…

I am using a sewing technique called chain piecing that is well-suited to lots of tiny pieces. With chain piecing, I’m sewing one seam apiece in each of ten rows at a time. One could do more rows at a time, but they can get tangled together, and the weight of the fabric starts to pull at the thread.

I have completed ten rows so far.

I’m loving it. It’s going to be awesome.

Make your own Heart Quilt. I’m keeping this one.

Sing it, Patsy.

“Crazy…”