Lyda here. I’m ridiculously excited - I’ve been tagged!! (Summary: Easily excited. Menz, take note.) Thanks, Marin!

Rules: You must answer the questions using only one word. Then tag four others.

1. Where is your cell phone? Non-existent
2. Your significant other? Anticipated
3. Your hair? Unruly
4. Your mother? Remembered
5. Your father? Ditto
6. Your favorite thing? Silliness
7. Your dream last night? Censored
8 Your favorite drink? Margarita
9. Your dream/goal? Home
10. The room you’re in? Living
11. Your hobby? Quilting
12. Your fear? Overwhelming
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Colorado
14. What you’re not? Mainstream
15. Muffins? Meh
16. One of your wish list items? Spa
17. Where you grew up? Everywhere
18. The last thing you did? Yawned
19. What are you wearing? Impertinent!
20. Favorite gadget? TV
21. Your pets? Crazy
22. Your computer? Gift
23. Your mood? Erratic
24. Missing someone? Absolutely
25. Your car? Dirty
26. Something you’re not wearing? Well
27. Favorite store? Fabric
28. Like someone? Wishing…
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

One word! Ya’ll can imagine how hard this was for me!

Also, note answer to question 13 - the Campaign is working! The Campaign to Move Lyda to Colorado, that is. Anna-Liza has been working on this since… well, pretty much since she moved to Colorado. There are many enthusiastic supporters these days.

Since it isn’t considered sporting to tag my blog partner, I tag:

Tag - You’re it!!

Lyda here.

It’s happening. Just as she planned. The movement is growing.

Yesterday someone found our blog by searching for “licking pig”.

Here are some really wee ones. Heh. I said “wee”.

Pig licking - it’s the new black.

Lyda here.

Happy Birthday, USA!

“Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear.” 

I love that movie!

And I’m actually leaving the house tonight to go to a party. No, really. I am. Ya’ll gotta believe me.

Lyda here. Today is Random Virtual Shopping Day!

Just because I can.

Wandering around the blogiverse, I came across a link to this blog - thanks, Marin! - which lead me to this shopping site.

I know a few people who really need these Gothic Drink Charms:

or maybe the Dia de los Muertos set.  And then there are my friends who need the black cat set, or the witches set. Although some people might prefer the Greek Muse drink charms. Or one of the Alice in Wonderland sets like this one, or the Wizard of Oz set, or…

She also has buttons and magnets - in case you are a mostly solitary wino like me   a tea totaller - and cards and jewelry. And awesome original artwork. Maybe it’s just as well someone beat me to this.

And speaking of shopping for skulls… Here’s some for your desktop. Feel free to add a coworker’s skull to the collection, of course. And here’s a shirt for Mondays (also appropriate for April 15th).

And what would virtual shopping be without zombies? No fun, that’s what! You can have your very own zombie friend to play video games with, just like Shaun.

And while you’re at it, get your own sonic screwdriver, just like the Doctor’s. Although a Tardis ice bucket would also come in handy, especially if you’re using those wine charms a lot.

And ya’ll probably need a Dalek bottle opener (scroll down, it’s there).

Of course, the day after all that drinking, you might need to wear this.

I’m just a Smeghead, what can I say?

Lyda here. Maybe I’m too involved with the blogiverse. With the people whose blogs I read. Frank, for example.

Maybe it’s weird, how much I care about Frank, considering that I’ve never met him in person. I read his blog almost every day, and I post comments, and we’ve talked a bit via email. I know that I don’t really know him, but I do know that he is talented, funny, kind, and a fabulous dad. And while I cannot really know what he’s going through, and I cannot bring him chicken soup or offer to babysit Oliver for him, I do think that leaving him a cheerful comment might help right now. Why don’t you leave him an upbeat comment too? Hey, couldn’t hurt.

The Cosmic Innernetting is like that. It creates a community of people who may never meet in person. 

Technology sometimes drives us apart - keeps us in our separate little cell-phone/drive-through/369-cable-channels/chat-room bubbles. Sometimes it insulates us from each other. We hear on the radio that x number of people were killed in an earthquake, or y number of people lost their homes in a fire - and it is just numbers. We have instant information - but there is too much to digest.

But technology can also pull us together. Human beings float in space above our planet - and we can watch. Soldiers hold their children tight before heading off to war - and we can weep over the pictures and then write our representatives in Congress.  A fiber artist finishes a sweater, or a quilt, or a sock - and we cheer with them. Fiber artist = anyone who creates something with yarn or fabric or fiber. Yes, I’m looking at you.

On our blogs, we tell each other about books, projects, ideas, problems, hopes, disasters. We write about obsessions and pleasures and pitfalls. With our rants and musings and silliness, we share part of ourselves.

We start to feel as if we know the person who wrote that.

In a way, we do. Sometimes we even become friends, because of the Cosmic Innernetting. There is more than one person for me to visit in Colorado now. Shiny!

In another way, we don’t. I’ve read all of Crazy Aunt Purl’s blog, and I read the book, and I even met her in person. It doesn’t mean that I know Laurie, any more than I know Terry Pratchett or Eric Idle. A writer’s work, an artist’s work, may be a glimpse into the person behind the work, but it is a distorted glimpse.

This partial imperfect connection is part of the joy and the danger of the Cosmic Innernetting. Finding someone who shares your obsessions? Awesome. Imagining a deep personal friendship where there is none? Not fabulous.

Take your zombie-loving Pollyanna here. I don’t tell ya’ll everything. I hold some things back because they are dark or embarrassing or just plain boring. That’s right. My life is even more boring than you think it is. Scary, kids.

Sometimes I email Anna-Liza to ask, “Should I post this? Is this too raw? Is this too personal?” Sometimes I write a post and it sits there as a draft for a week or a month or… well, I have one I wrote in April that is still sitting there.

And I edit things. A lot. I try to make myself sound funny, profound, together - or at least semi-coherent. I try to keep the whining to a minimum, which unfortunately I don’t always do in real life. I know, I don’t always do it on the blog either. Sorry about that.

All in the hope that ya’ll will read it in an idle moment and smile.

Not such a bad motive at that.

And while I do not know Jane, or Red, or Kelly, or KarenM, in “real life” - Marin, I’m pleased to say, I do know in real life  - I know enough to want to.

And I know enough to care about Frank.

Maybe that’s not so bad after all.

Hi, Anna-Liza here, with a post that is really just one long digression. But you know what? It’s my blog and I’ll digress if I want to. (Sorry if I’m poaching on your territory, Lyda.)

I’ve often noticed that there are many parts of the human body that are sexy, in addition to those so assiduously brought to our attention by Hollywood and Madison Avenue. (And they spend a lot of time and money on that, too. Like we would never, ever notice a shapely ass if they didn’t tell us we ought to. And I do truly love to see a man who knows what his hips are for. But I digress.) Actually, under the right circumstances I can find almost any part of the body sexy or at least aesthetically pleasing. Except maybe the toes. Pretty much, the best I can do with toes is “cute”. Woops, another digression.

Darlin’ K has particularly nice forearms, wrists, and hands. Slender and muscular and graceful, which pretty much describes how I like my men all over. I really love to watch him use his hands. I know, but think about it. Over the years I have seen him use them to …

… diaper our babies, put up tents, swing kids upside down, wire stereos, massage my feet, fix cars, open champagne bottles, wield a hammer or a dishcloth, play catch, build snowmen, drive Bobcats®. He’s used his hands to make music, make pancakes, and make love. He spins fire with them (gloriously).

He’s planted flowers and saplings and fence posts. He’s painted rooms and houses and pottery. Wielded a pen and a sword. Created amazing art ranging from living sculpture (installments with people as part of them) to a papier-maché dragon (with help from Mr. R on that one, of course). He’s offered the use of his hands to friends and family and to organized service groups (which is why he’s planted a lot of trees). He can use them as weapons when necessary, but uses them to heal far more often. He can caress me into sleep or fully, delightfully awake.

They’re a real man’s hands. More importantly (to me), they’re my man’s hands.

Lyda here. It’s Tuesday, and time for another Random Weirdness post. I know ya’ll look forward to these as much as I do.

Edited to add: Today, the Yarn Harlot herself posted a Random post on Canada, which I didn’t read until I’d already posted this. It makes me feel all happy because she and I are random together today. And also kinda makes me want to move to Canada. Weird Pollyanna West fact: My paternal grandparents were Canadian. Remember this. There will be a quiz later.

So, here ya go.

The Random Weirdness of Humans - Animals, Nudity and Brothels, Oh My!

1.) How does the old joke go? “A crocodile walks into a bar…”

2.) Or is it… “A chimp walks into a forest…”?

3.) And here’s a hell of a note. ”Oops, sorry, wrong house.” I wonder if this woman ever read “Hitchhiker’s Guide“?

4.) I’m not sure, but I may have dated this guy… or someone quite like him… Bad flashbacks, man.

5.) At least he was wearing more than this guy.

6.) But this is my favorite jailbreak story. The giraffe was the mastermind!

7.) And how did we all miss “World Naked Bike Ride” Day?? Really, ya’ll. Check out the official website. Warning: Not suitable for work.

8.) And here’s good news on the magic mushroom front. It’s good to know that science is finally catching up with the average shaman, isn’t it?

And how do I sign up for this study???

9.) These dolphins should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque…

10.) And of course, gas prices are hurting businesses everywhere. Even the Nevada brothels are feeling the pinch.

So to speak.

Lyda here.

So I’m playing on, ya’ll.

Specifically, I’m considering moving. Things on the job market are a bit… bleak. Not working much is not working for me. Especially considering how expensive it is to live here, and how much debt I have.

If anyone in Orange County needs a great organizer, or a great office manager, now is the time to let me know.

I feel as if I’m having a move thrust on me. It’s not my first choice, but it may be the best choice.

At any rate, I agree with John Gay:

Hey, Anna-Liza here. Just a quickie before I go to bed. I must sleep soon and long, or I will probably die. Or at least be very cranky.

We went to Steamboat Springs Friday night, drove back Saturday afternoon, then I drove to Denver to go to Marin’s  ”Girlfriends’ Guide to Gaming” Nintendo party. Oh yes, I did! It was all fun, and the scenery was grand for lots of it, but 10 hours of driving in 36 hours is … a little much. Even if Darlin’ K did most of the actual driving and I spent most of my energy mentally shielding us from all the idiots who think the painted lane lines are mere suggestions. But I’d better not go into that rant.

Steamboat was earthy, Burning-Man-ish, hot-springs-and-fire-and-clothing-optional. Marin’s party was girly (in a good way), urban, polished, wine-and-high-heels-with-jeans. Both were very funfunfun and I’d like to do them again, but not both on the same weekend.

I got some pretty nice photos of Steamboat, although not of the fire spinning. I was afraid I’d drop or lose the camera at the hot springs. I’ll share soon. (Lyda.) I didn’t take any pictures at Marin’s party, but she might have some when she posts about it. I will say the snacks were delicious and the party favors exceptional–we each got a charm bracelet, a Nintendo DS Lite, and a Brain Age² game. That’s a good thing, because when I played it, I tested at a brain age of 52. I am not 52. (Marin tested at 32. Bitch.)

Oh yeah. Sleep. That might help my brain age more than all the training in the world. Ya think? And I am driving nowhere tomorrow!

Lyda here. And yes, I am a bitch.

Canine version, that is.

Your family is what makes you tick, and you never “flea” from an opportunity to hang out with the whole gang. A family picnic complete with hot dogs, deviled eggs and a refreshing swim in the lake is hard for you to stray from. Your sparky temperament and dogged intelligence mean you are not only a blast to hang out with, but great to work with as well. Your close pals appreciate your patience and forgiveness, knowing you’d rather let sleeping dogs lie than dwell on the mishaps of the past. Your dashing good looks may one day lead to a modelling career, if only you can tame the unfortunate clumsiness that sometimes causes you to go flailing from the catwalk.

I found this quiz link on The Dust Bunnies Will Wait. See, ya’ll? Leave a comment, I’ll read your blog and link to it. Not that I’m obsessed with the blogiverse or anything… hrumph.

And speaking of knit blog - which I belive this is - ya’ll have to check out this post. Looks like it was made for Martha Graham, doesn’t it?

And how deep was the snow the winter this person knit this??

But this one makes me laugh. Yukon, ho!! Also, I direct your twelvenesses to her use of the phrase “pattern porn”. Yes, “twelvenesses” is a word. Yes, it is too. Oh, hush.

And ya’ll might get a chuckle from this, over at Susan the Shepherd’s blog for Martha’s Vineyard Fiber Farm. A great place to get your RDA of adorable fiber animal pictures. See? More fiber on the hoof - and dogs too.

AND IN TODAY’S ZOMBIE NEWS:

Zombie catepillars! Weird science… Lucky we have If You Were a Zombie.com to keep us up on this important news. Be sure to check out their line of zombie e-cards and check the blog for more. 

And finally, a candidate my Zombie Army can really get behind… shuffle behind, of course:

Zombie Lincoln for President!