Pollyanna Ponders Pandering

Say that three times fast. (Yes, I’m 4.) 

And now for the news. 

“Senator Under Brothel Cloud Surfaces”

What would a brothel cloud be made of? How did he breathe down there? The mind boggles.

Then this caught my eye:

“Pageant officials strip contestant…”

What? “…of her crown after noticing she had fake hair.” Oh. You can tell it wasn’t an American contest, can’t you?

“Giant, stinky flower finds its roots” I’m not making these up, folks. This flower smells like rotting meat. After 200 years, they figured out what family it belongs to. Heartwarming, isn’t it?

Man calls 911 to save him from police” He called 911 and told them he was surrounded by police. (They weren’t doing anything, just standing there.) Uh… excuse me sir? Just how drunk are you?

“Will your car soon run on chicken fat?” The smell, how could you stand the smell?!!?!

But today’s winner:

“Bear Rummages In Elderly Woman’s Home”

He was going through, excuse me, rummaging through her kitchen cupboards. You can just hear him muttering under his breath (’cause you have to mutter when ya rummage, don’t ya know), “Now let’s see, where does she keep the honey?” (She yelled at him and he ran away. She says they usually do. She’s 91. I love her!)

At least he wasn’t rummaging in her drawers.

I told you I am four.

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2 thoughts on “Pollyanna Ponders Pandering

  1. Marin

    Welcome to my four-year-old world! It’s so nice to FINALLY have someone else here to play with!

    What happens when the brothel cloud rains? I think I wanna be there when it does.

    Reply

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