Pollyanna and the Weirdness of Cats

Lyda here. Usually Tuesday is Weirdness of Humans day, but I thought it would be interesting to explore the Weirdness of Cats this week.

1) Cat’s ability to see in the dark makes it #6 on this Top Ten List of things animals can do that we can’t. Cat’s annoyance at humans for this lack, which causes us to trip over cats in the dark, is not mentioned on this list.

2) Cats can only remember for 10 minutes so how come Tommy gives me the cold tail for an hour when I trip over him?

3) Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a Flying cat! At least, it has wings. Can cat zombies be far behind?

4) “Riots in the streets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!” A cat giving birth to a dog? “Is that true?” “Yes, your honor, this man has no dick.”

5) Whither “Puffball”? The 10 most common cat names are, well, common. Okay, I cheated, this one is Weirdness of Humans. ‘Cause you know that the cats are not choosing to be called Max. They would prefer something like “Fangor, Bringer of Sudden Rodent Death”…

6) Think you have a lot of cats? Do you have 130 of them? Okay, this is really the Weirdness of Humans, or maybe the kindness of humans… but how could I resist?

7) Cats like to wander a bit, but this one traveled 1,000 miles. No, Tommy, you have to stay IN the house.

8.) You put WHAT in my coffee? Read the article; you won’t believe it. “A cup of the special civet cat or luwak coffee sells for as much as 50 Australian dollars in trendy cafes Downunder while hip New Yorkers pay around 75 U.S. dollars for a quarter pound.” I’ll stick to soda, thanks.

9) One of my cats once ate an entire peanut butter sandwich. Piece by piece. Peanut butter, whole wheat bread. He. Ate. The. Whole. Thing. I think that is the weirdest one of all. [He was fine, ya’ll. Really.]

10) But of course, I have to include Oscar the death-predicting cat. What list of the Weirdness of Cats would be complete without him?

Mass hysteria!

* No cats were harmed in the making of this post.

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3 thoughts on “Pollyanna and the Weirdness of Cats

  1. annaliza

    The coffee link isn’t working for me right now.

    I had a cat who liked to eat raisins. My current cat is Moxie, her late sister was Moonpie, and I’ve had cats named Zebedee and Looby-loo.

    I’m sure there’s way more weirdness of cats out there, except it will all turn out to be weirdness of humans about cats!

    Reply
  2. Marsha

    Dave Barry wrote a column about ten years ago called “Decaf Poopacino” in which he describes the luwak coffee. The best line is right after he looks at the expensive beans he just bought and wonders if he’d been given ordinary beans: “What kind of world is this when you worry that people might be ripping you off by selling you coffee that was NOT pooped out by a weasel?”

    Reply

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