Pollyanna Battles the Zombies of Doom!

Lyda here. I’m feeling like indulging my passion for monsters and zombies and Halloween and other fall-type stuff.

Okay, Halloween is six weeks away, but if stores can put out their Xmas decorations in September (You know they are out there already! Scary, kids!), then I can talk about Halloween six weeks early.

Plus I need to cheer myself up, and what could be better than a good dose of Zombies of Doom!

1) Tonight we are getting a visit from Second Son, AKA “Chuck Norris.” Hurray!!! I don’t even mind that his return to So. Cal. means he won’t need the scarf I’ve been planning for him. My excuse for putting him first  – as if I needed an excuse – is that he introduced me to my current fav funny zombie movie, Shaun of the Dead. Plus, I’m more zombie-like when he’s with us for the weekend, what with staying up late saving the universe from aliens and all.

2) The classic cult zombie movie is of course Night of the Living Dead. In case you forgot, in your own Friday zombie-ness.

3) For those looking for a less scary yet still hilarious monster movie, I recommend Monsters Inc. A true classic, even without zombies. I especially love the outtakes at the end.

4) For the scientific view of zombies (’cause I’m all about the science), this is How Zombies Work. Just in case your resident zombie needs a tune-up. The Zombie Powder actually has hallucinogenic frogs, but I don’t recommend cleaning your shower doors with it.

This site also includes the very important Zombie Self-Defense. In case your zombie needs to defend himself against humans who don’t want their brains eaten. Silly humans, brains are for zombies! [Unaccountably, their advice is actually all about Self-Defense Against Zombies…]

5) For all you zombie-lovers, the National Center for Reanimation Prevention and Control details the creation, care and feeding of your slow-moving, brain-eating friends. Be sure to check out the destruction from Zombie Fest 2007, an annual role-playing party in the UK.

Wow, these people show me up for the mere dabbler in zombie-hood that I am… Better move on:

Two, three, four, and then there was the time…

6) Fall brings more than Halloween. It brings Octoberfest too. Locally, we have the the Old World Village version , which is pretty standard stuff. Lots of beer and musicians from Munich. And drunk people doing the chicken dance, which when you think about it, is pretty zombie-like. Silly drunken zombies. Ummm, beer…

7) Local scary events each fall include Disneyland’s Halloween Time (pretty recent innovation), Universal Studio’s Halloween Horror Nights (which “may be too intense for young children” and therefore is bound to be too scary for me), and Knott’s Scary Farm (35 years and still lurching strong). I’ve never been to any of these. Ya’ll know I love Disneyland so maybe we’ll try to get there this year.

After all, I have to see if they have zombies, right? I mean, in my professional capacity as Zombie Dabbler.

8.) If you are interested in the origins of Halloween as a holiday, here is one NeoPagan’s version. This is a fairly inclusive account, but please note pseudo-scientific term “Paleopagan” which made me snort diet soda out of my nose. Again. Like everything Pagan, Neo or otherwise, there are a lot of versions of the history of this celebration. That’s what makes Paganism fun, ya’ll.

Tip: If you are going to call the holiday “Samhain,” you have to pronounce it “sow-in” or the NeoPagans will laugh at you.

And then you will be forced to eat their brains. Ha, zombie reference, got ya!

9) Poking around on the Cosmic Innernetting brought up All Things Zombie, a clearinghouse of zombie information, movies, books, etc. Just in case you aren’t getting your RDA of Zombie-osity.

10) But today, the biggest and scariest zombie of all is:

ME.

I slept about 4 hours last night, maybe less. This has been happening all week.

Here’s the zombie-creator himself:

harry-potter-4.jpg

Now, ya’ll might think it’s not nice of me to blame a 14-year-old boy for my lack of sleep.

Especially since I’ve read this book before. At least twice. Maybe three times. Would you believe 5?

Not to mention seeing the movie eleventy-ten times.

So even with my renowned Plot Forgetfulness, I do know how it ends. In fact, I know how the whole series ends.

I still can’t put the damn book down.

J.K. Rowling, my zombie-ness is all your fault. And please write another book, how about “Hogwarts: The Next Generation”? ‘kay thanks bye.

As you may recall, after we finished Book #7, the Resident Sith Master and I decided to re-read the whole series. He’s now all the way to #7 again. I’m still on #4 because I got a bit distracted by some library books.

And cleaning.

And oh, yeah, work.

I forgot how absorbing the world of Hogwarts is.

So last night, I had to stay up to see how Harry, Ron and Hermione coped with the pressures of their fourth year and the problems of the wizarding world. I could not just abandon them. They need me to read until the end, ya’ll. For one thing, someone has to keep an eye on Snape. Not to mention Hagrid’s dangerous creatures, and Fred and George’s trick wands and exploding sweets. And you know, Harry flies way too fast on that broomstick…

Why, if I stopped reading and put out the light – anything could happen!

Harry could be attacked by the Zombies of Doom!

And that’s why today, I am the Queen of the Zombies.

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7 thoughts on “Pollyanna Battles the Zombies of Doom!

  1. annaliza

    I refuse to be the Zombie Princess, because I never have been and never will be any kind of princess. I do, however, fit the qualifications for Zombie Advisor to the Queen, as Moxie (the cat who may have ambitions to be the Zombie Cat … who looked at the queen … errr … ) oh yeah, Moxie woke me up at 5:30 this morning. She knows which is the bedroom window and will sit outside of it and yowl until someone lets her in, but she doesn’t seem to be smart enough to know that, when someone gets out of bed and heads for the door, she should head for the door as well. That wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for the nocturnal three-year-old. How do I know he’s nocturnal? He told me so, in so many word. “But, Mommy, I nocturnal!”

    Snorting soda again, dear? Can you remember how hard it was to get them to do what you tell them to when you’re laughing?

    Reply
  2. lyda Post author

    True, all true. And I was up late last night again reading. I just got up from a long long nap and feel much less-zombielike right now.

    “But Mommie, I nocturnal!” and the soda-snorting continues…

    Reply
  3. Red

    I get that way with Terry Pratchett. It’s all the details you don’t remember because you voraciously read throught the book at light speed and now that you know what’s happening you have the time to pay a bit of attention.

    Reply
  4. lyda Post author

    Red – yes, Terry Prachett is the same for me too.

    And I am learning to put down the soda when reading blogs, ’cause ya’ll crack me up too much.

    Reply
  5. Pingback: Pollyanna and More Weirdness of Halloween, Movie Edition « Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom

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