Lyda Mad Bess Bonney here, one o’ the two Captains o’ this here blog. Beware, we be sailing through “International Talk Like A Pirate Day.” Arrrr!
We’re drinkin’ the grog (recipe here, but anything with alcohol will do – you can bet the pirates weren’t fussy about it!) and celebratin’ all things pirate.
In the spirit of the day, we present this week’s Weirdness of Humans – “Here there be Pirates” edition, o’ course, me hearties! [I shanghied some of these links from this top 10 pirate sites article.]
Avast, ye landlubbers, hoist the mailsail!
1) With a tip of the hat to Dave Barry, who discovered them and brought this holiday to the rest of us scurvy dogs, here be the website of the founders of “Talk Like A Pirate Day,” Cap’n Slappy and Ole Chumbucket. You can buy their book, Pirrattitude, check out the pirate photo gallery, and subscribe to their newsletter, The Poopdeck. Be sure to check out their merchandise, including this button:
which my brother the Gorgeous and Available Engineer would totally love. Arrrr again!!
2) Here be a quiz to discover your pirate name. My pirate name is:
Mad Bess Bonney
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate’s life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network
Shiver me timbers!
3) This link has historical information on famous pirates, including Anne Bonny and Mary Read. In reality, pirates were usually bloodthirsty cutthroats and unclean in their persons. But they make for fascinating history!
Here’s some more history of pirates. It is interesting that someone like Sir Frances Drake could be considered a pirate in one country (Spain) and a hero in another (England’s Queen Elizabeth I’s “dear pirate”). With history, it always depends on who’s reporting the “facts.”
4) Articles celebrating “Talk Like a Pirate Day” abound. This one even has tips for dressing like a pirate, ye lags.
5) Here be a Guide to Pirate Parenting by Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall, including such important topics as quelling mutinies, scurvy and hook injuries, and how to convert your mini-van into a pirate schooner.
If ye be taking parenting advice from the likes o’ The Butcher, be it on your own lice-ridden head!
6) Or you could try posting one of these Pirate Codes of Conduct on the frig. Punishments for stealing include being marooned or shot. Might give the little blighters pause.
7) This link has over 100 pirate movies, in case ye be cravin’ a chance to buckle your swash with the best o’ them! Ye can’t go wrong with John Barrymore in “The Beloved Rogue” (1927 – silent). Or any Errol Flynn or Douglas Fairbanks (Sr. or Jr.) film.
8.) Classic pirate books include “Treasure Island” by Robert Louis Stevenson and “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexander Dumas. Amazon has a huge listing of pirate books, and this link has a list of pirate books for “kids of all ages” whatever that means…
9) Don’t miss “Muppet Treasure Island” with Tim Curry hamming it up as the pirate captain. One of my personal favorites. “Stand back – this is my ONLY number!”
9) Of course, the best sword fight of all time is in “The Princess Bride” – one of the greatest movies of all time. If you have not seen this movie, GO RENT IT NOW!! “I am the Dread Pirate Roberts!”
10) Here’s a modern pirate song for ye.
11) If you need help getting Polly to squawk “Walk the plank”, check out this site.
12) Be warned, that site can’t help ye if it be an ex-parrot.
Yes, I included the parrot link just so I could get the Monty Python reference in.
Long pause. “Do you want to come back to my place?” “I thought you’d never ask.”
Laugh or I’ll keelhaul the lot of ye!