Pollyanna and the Weirdness of Humans: You call that work?

Lyda here. Still knitting away on the Twisted Sister scarf. It’s taking forever! My next project is going to use really big thick verigated yarn and I’m going to use big needles and be done fast. I want completion, dammit!!

Anyway, today is National Custodian Workers Day, and Phileas Fogg’s Wager Day, and World Farm Animals Day (I warn you, this link about Farm Animals Day is depressing even if you are already a vegetarian. Just trust me; it’s a real day.)

So tonight, watch one of the “Around the World in 80 Days” movies (like the one starring Jackie Chan).

Watch it with the custodian worker of your choice. And the farm animal of your choice. Oh my. The mind boggles. Hey, why not celebrate whole hog?

Uh. Sorry about that. Went a little hog wild there… but I digress…

It’s Tuesday – time for this week’s thrilling installment of the Weekly Weirdness of Humans. This week, we plunge into the very bizarre World of Work. Don’t think it’s so weird? Think again.

The Weirdness of Humans: the “You Call That Work?” Edition

1) Scientists are wonderfully weird. “No, aren’t they though? It gives one hope for the future of all being-kind.”  They can justify almost any study as “work.” Like, coming up with a Mess-o-Meter that’s as accurate as a teenager’s mom. Dude, just clean your room already.

2) Of course, my personal dream job is “writer.” And I think I would be well suited to write about Ads of the Weird, don’t you?

3) Was doing this FAKE AD part of someone’s work? Or do they just have way too much time on their hands while at work? Not like any Pollyannas… la la la… Be sure to go to the official website and take the quiz to see if you too have Dysphoric Social Attention Consumption Deficit Anxiety Disorder. I seem to be borderline. Uh-oh!

4) Here’s a list of 37 weird jobs, including “Odor Tester.” Someone has to test all those deodorants, people. But I think the weirder job is the chemist who checks the testers for odor and wetness. Ick! For this I went to college?

5) There is a weird job featured in Fortune Magazine each month. This link includes a guy who restores old kiddie rides (Fun!), someone who cleans IMAX screens (Gummy bears stuck to the screen! Yuck!),and a corporate bank robber. And then there’s the guy who makes lightsabers for a living… Now that’s a job!

6) Here’s an interesting one: a fantasy broker. You pay them to make your fantasy come true. Want to sing at the Met? It’ll cost ya… What, you thought it was some other kind of fantasy? I’m shocked, shocked! Go wash your mind out with soap. Maybe the cabana boy can help…

7) Some traditional ways to make a living, like moonshining, are less popular nowdays. It’s sad when traditions die.  But you can still run away to the circus – take the aptitude test to see what to do when you get there. It said I should be a clown or an animal trainer. Just like I always thought!

But first, I’ll go to clown college. If you can’t hack the greasepaint and floppy shoes, you can still be a carney! If you can’t do that, you can always follow the elephants… “Why don’t you stop shoveling?” “What, and leave show business??” (One of my dad’s favorite jokes… which explains a lot maybe…)

8.)  Of course, you can always create your own niche, like the man who created and sold bird poop jewelry. Or… maybe not…

I could not find any proof of the bird poop jewelry, and believe me, I searched. I thought you’d want to see the evidence. But maybe we’re all glad I didn’t find it, yes?

Okay, Lyda, step away from the Google search…

9)  I could put my psychology degree to use as a Laughter Therapist… or maybe one of the other jobs on this list…?

10) How do you even know if it’s a real weird job or one that someone just made up? Take a quiz, of course! Quiz creator… that’s kind of a weird job too…

Not like “blog list-maker.”

That isn’t weird at all.

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