Pollyanna and the Random Weirdness of Humans, First Hump Edition

Lyda here. Time for the next installation of weirdness. In case ya’ll are out there thinking that the weirdness is dying out.

‘Cause it isn’t.

So, here’s the Weekly Random Weirdness of Humans, First Hump Edition.

‘Cause January is the first month. And it’s halfway through the month. So today is the hump of January. The first hump.

One hump, two humps, three… Three humps! Ahahaha…

1) January is National Blood Donor Month. This is worthy and noble and people who have blood that they want should totally go donate. They don’t want my blood. Ever. No, really. I’ve tried. That’s okay. More for me.

But ya’ll know me. My first thought was:

January’s good month for vampires.

When is National Brains-for-Zombies Month?

2) It says here, January 14th is National Clean Off Your Desk Day. I didn’t know that yesterday, but I did clean off my desk. Somewhat, anyway…

Weird. Cue the spooky music….

Okay, I’m reaching here. This isn’t that weird. Sue me.

3) We’re still waiting for Chinese New Year. Because it uses the Chinese Lunar calendar, the Year of the Rat doesn’t start until February 7th. Remember to eat really long noodles for Chinese New Year; they symbolize long life. And other stuff. But, yeah, long life.

So it’s still the Year of the Boar. My sign, ya’ll. That’s right. I’m a pig. And I’m proud.

It turns out I’m an earth pigHonesty. Sexuality. Acquiescence???? What’s up with that?? What sign are you?

According to this site, we are ending the Year of not just any pig, but of the Fire Pig!

No wonder we all feel so burned out.

4) January 18th is Winnie the Pooh Day, celebrating A.A. Milne’s birthday. Here’s a Pooh Bear quiz. Here’s a website devoted to all things Poohish (Poohish??) with pages on his poems and his favorite recipes.

I’m telling ya’ll in advance, because this is important and we need to have parties. With honey. Heh. Honey party.

Silly old bear.

5) The holiday isn’t until Monday (Hurry three-day weekend! Hurry!), but January 15, 1929 was the actual date that Martin Luther King Jr. was born. Read about him here.

The radio D.J. said, “Get registered to vote in his honor.”

Dr. King would like that. So do it.

And don’t be telling me you weren’t already registered to vote, ’cause I’ll give you such a smack. Calling yourself a citizen… grumble grumble… and you kids stay off my lawn! Whippersnappers…

And read this lovely tribute by Coretta Scott King.

6) On January 15, 1346, Emperor Louis IV of Bavaria gave Holland to his wife Margaretha.

A whole country, and tulips for life.

On January 15, 1535, Henry VIII declares himself head of English Church.

Two Royal Husbands: Compare and contrast.

I expect your essays on my desk by the end of the period.

7) So now a little hump month tale. Hump month is too a real phrase. It’s like hump day, but for the month. Shut up.

Today at lunchtime, I drove from work to my credit union, and then went on to the post office to Mail Important Documents.

A funny thing happened on the way to the post office…

I got lost.

I’ve lived in this neighborhood for over twenty years.

Promise to send yarn when they put me in the padded room, ‘kay?

8.) And yet another tale…

Yesterday, a funny thing happened as I was leaving home to drive to work.

I saw a dead mouse in front of my neighbor’s apartment. This little body, just… there. It was still there today. I looked. ‘Cause I’m all nosy and morbid like that.

A mousey harbinger of things to come?

9) Today at work, we were organizing cabinets. No, I didn’t set this up, my boss did, but you can bet I loved it. Yes, I am a sicko. But I digress…

One of my coworkers pulled some old folders out of a cabinet, and underneath the folders was:

a dead mouse.

My boss’s boss (who is our boss too, but anyway…) came over and disposed of the remains. The mouse had been dead a while. I can tell these things, I watch a lot of TV.

So we played taps on a tiny trumpet…

Well, not really.

But this is weird. Two dead mice in two days.

I’d better make sure Mickey is okay… Hello, Magic Kingdom?

10) This Saturday, January 19th, I am going to Crazy Aunt Purl’s book-signing in Mission Viejo. (Ya’ll have to read to the bottom of that post to get to the book-signing info. Oh, how I make you suffer.)

Going to the CAP book-signing is not weird – it is Super Special Awesome!!

What’s weird is that the Pollyanna who lives in Colorado has met Laurie, and the Pollyanna who actually lives in Southern California hasn’t. I still claim this is due to circumstances beyond my control.

I’m actually driving about the same distance to meet Laurie than I did to meet AntiM.  

Ya’ll, it was totally worth it to drive to San Diego to meet Marin! I would do it again and again. I’d drive to Colorado to see BFF and Marin all the time if it was only two or three hours away. Stupid Pointy Mountains!

But I digress… 

Anyway, it will be worth it to drive to Mission Viejo to meet Laurie.

I’m taking my copy of her book, and my knitting. That’s all I’ll need. And this lamp…

I’ll be the… um… voluptuous (read: large) woman with longish curly red hair and glasses, knitting garter stitch with lumberjack and gray yarn. I’m bound to be wearing jeans and pirate shoes. Oh, and a top of some kind. I’m not lookin’ to get arrested before I get my book signed, ya’ll.

Ya’ll are going to spot me by the yarn, aren’t you? 

If ya’ll come, be sure to come over and talk to me.

And remind me of your name, and your blog’s name.

‘Cause I will not connect the two on my own.

I’m the woman who got lost today within a mile of her house. 

“I’m just saying, is all.”

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6 thoughts on “Pollyanna and the Random Weirdness of Humans, First Hump Edition

  1. annaliza

    I’m a Water Tiger.
    I hope you have fun meeting Laurie! She’s great!
    Maybe you should go back to your old strategy of keeping a notebook with directions to everywhere in your car.

    Reply
  2. mintlatte

    I’m a water rat. (odd I never knew there were elements associated with it all…)
    LOL on getting lost in your own neighborhood, I have an AWFUL sense of direction, but with the help of the large hills to the West, can usually find my way home 🙂

    Reply
  3. lyda Post author

    Anna-Liza, Water Tiger – heh! And yes, I still keep the directions notebook in my car. But, seriously, the post office. Five blocks from my house. Who would have thought I’d need to look up the directions? (I just turned one block early, so I got there with minimum fuss.)

    Water Rat – – cool! You can hang out with Mr. Toad!

    Reply
  4. Marin

    LICK THE FIRE PIG!

    Dear heavens, I’m a Fire Goat. Like Hot Cashmere, right? Right?

    Awww… you’d drive two hours to see me again? Even knowing what you know? Awwww…

    Give Laurie a big kiss. Tell her it’s from me. That should freak her out — Laurie doesn’t like me.

    Reply

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