Pollyanna West (aka Lyda “I do believe in zombies, I do I do, I do believe in zombies”) with a breaking news report.
1) Don’t go in the sewage tunnels. Just. Don’t. Here’s why.
All together now: “Ghostbusters!”
“Back off, man; I’m a scientist.”
2) Hey, that could be a zombie in the sewers. Read 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen. Scary, kids!
3) The only way to survive in a Zombie Nation is to pretend you are a zombie too. The people try this in “Shaun of the Dead” – with… well, less than perfect results.
4) So I recommend practice. Start with several of these end-of-the world cocktails, and you’ll be stumbling, moaning, and lurching in no time.
Of course, if you already do this regularly – the lurching, I mean – then you are ready for:
The 2007 Walk of the Dead in Pittsburgh – Zombie Capital of the World because “Day of the Dead” was filmed and released there – set a world record.
5) The walk and food drive is the brainchild (yes, I said brain child) of The It’s Alive Show. It’s not just for those that
live in walk undead in Pittsburgh, either.
Uh… that’s awfully close to me… should I be worried yet?
7) The Long Beach zombies have pub crawls. See #4.
8.) Hey, maybe the zombies are already taking over. After all, they have the White House already. And the Zombinator is in Sacramento now.
And zombies may possibly have taken over Britain.
As ya’ll can tell, I just found Armageddon Cocktail Hour – intelligent, informed, screamingly funny… Good stuff, Maynerd.
9) At least, as zombies we will have plenty of zombie music to accompany our brain-eating. A Google search for “zombie music” gave me over a million results.
I like the Zombie Bazooka Patrol . Be sure to watch the music video and TV clip. Reviewer Tyler Moles of Famous Magazine wrote, “If the Beach Boys got into a bus wreck in the middle of the desert and lay rotting on the side of the road for a few weeks before rising from the dead and continuing to tour, it might sound something like Zombie Bazooka Patrol.”
If my life becomes a zombie movie, I hope these guys do the soundtrack.
10) And reason #10 to prepare for the inevitable Zombie Nation to come:
Cubicle Hell – a breeding ground for zombies if there ever was one.
Wait… do I hear shambling footsteps coming my way?
Uh… where’s that fire ax?