Pollyanna says “I see zombies”

Lyda here. Like ya’ll didn’t know that from the use of the word “zombie.”

Now Ravelry can be an inspiration for your zombie attack preparation. See? In case you don’t have access to Ravelry, and the lurching hordes have already made off with your copy of The Zombie Survival Guide, I shall summarize.

Your plan might look like this:

1 – Stock up on vital supplies of food, water, and of course, yarn.

Don’t forget a Zombie Survival Kit like this; The AntiCrafter’s got it covered.

Note flying pig on that second link! Check out the weird pig stuff and lots of other pig fun in issue #11: “Unclean (the bacon issue).” Where else would you learn to make your own Bacon of Hate?  This issue is at least a week’s worth of pig licking.

Also, I so need the book!

But I digress…

2 – Do your research. There are lots of training films out there, many of which I’ve reviewed. Just scroll down to “search” and type in “zombie”.  And a lot more films out there.

Gather trusty people to watch your back. You might want to include a few people you don’t like, so you have someone to throw to the zombies while the rest of you run away.

And keep an eye on them. Anyone can be turned.

3 – Arm yourselves. Guns don’t have to be designer versions – spend your money on extra ammo instead. Crossbows are good because you can recover the bolts and reuse them. Eww.  Axes, bats and shovels are good for close work. DPNs would require a lot of precision but might be useful as a last line of defense.

4 – Barricade yourself somewhere safe. You might be there for some time. Thus the need for yarn.

You might consider hiding out in your LYS.

Or a pub, which worked for Shaun. Kinda. BBQ joints are not recommended.

5 – Be ready to flee for your lives. Preferably in one of these. Head into the mountains and wait for the cold to kill the zombies. Finally, a reason to head to Colorado!

6 – Be ready to pretend to blend in. Like this.

7 – Watch out for animals. They can become zombies too. Scary fiber, kids!

Which reminds me:

“Oh my God!”
“The feng shui in this room is terrible.”

But I digress again…

7 – Aim for the head.

And finally…

8 – If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

We all have days when we want to eat our coworkers’ brains, anyway. Right?


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