Lyda here. I’m waiting for word on possible temporary assignments for me, so ya’ll keep your fingers crossed for me, ‘kay? Yeah, I’m still Desperately Seeking Work.
Writer. Artist. Teacher. Office Manager. Organizer Extraordinare. Hard to believe employers aren’t banging down my door, isn’t it? But so far, only the Zombie Army is at the door. And they don’t care about my mad skillz. They just love me for my brain. And my heart.
Maybe my liver…
But I digress…
Of course, one day I won’t need to earn a living. The Resident Sith Master will be absolute ruler of the world, which will make me Grand Empress Dowager and then I will live in the lavish style to which I would like to become accustomed.
But I digress again…
I named this post from the Disney film “Freaky Friday” which I would have sworn starred Hayley Mills. Who is one of my favorite actresses, and not just because she did “Pollyanna” the year I was born. And I would post a picture of her, thus ensuring future hits, but I can’t figure out how to get it posted. Curses and swearwords! Another freaky thing!
Best Hayley Mills line ever? “Listen! I have the most scathingly brilliant idea!” –as Mary in “The Trouble with Angels” (1966).
At least I got some sleep last night. Ya’ll have no idea what a relief that is, after several weeks of waking up every two hours. At least, I hope ya’ll don’t know what that’s like. I didn’t sleep through the night, but I was able to fall back asleep when I did wake up. Ya’ll, I’ve even stopped drinking caffeine! I don’t have trouble falling asleep; I just don’t stay asleep. The medical opinion is that it’s stress. If I won the lottery or otherwise received large amounts of cash, the stress would go away. Hello, Goddess of Money, are you listening??
Anyway, I’m having a freaky day. It started with the shower. Our shower is currently draining really slowly, so I’m taking really fast showers, which is weird for me. I’m saving water, at least. Looking on the bright side… Hey, they don’t call me Pollyanna for nothing!
Today, while in the shower, I heard a weird glugging noise. When I got out of the shower, I noticed that there was water in the (separate) bathtub. Very dirty water. Not water from my shower. Backed-up sewer water. Yuck. Using the shower made water back up into the bathtub. Not good. So, we need a plumber. Hey, Mario!
The next freaky thing – I got a call about a possible temporary assignment. The agency asked me if I know how to do “vlookup” in Excel. Huh? Now, I’m pretty darn good on Excel, ya’ll, but I had no idea what they were talking about. I don’t have Excel on my computer, so I got gussied up in my work clothes and went down to the agency. Where I took an Excel test which I aced – which did not mention “vlookup”. So I took another Excel test, which I also aced. Nope, no “vlookup.” While I was there, I took tests on Accounts Payable and Accounts Receivable, because they said they get a lot of call for that. I did well on them too. I talked on the phone to someone who knew what “vlookup” was. Turns out, it’s a formula in Excel.
Then I headed for home, and played with this formula on the spreadsheet program on my computer (it’s not Excel, it only plays Excel on my computer). So now I know what the formula does, and sort of how to do it. What I don’t know is, why? Why would you use this formula? Anyone out there know?
Anyway, that was freaky for little Miss Software Expert…
While I was waiting for the phone call about the assignment, I remembered that I had a doctor’s appointment. So I hustled off there. The blood tests he ordered a week ago? Came back normal (eliminating a host of not-good illnesses). But we still don’t know why I can’t breathe well, or why the medicine isn’t helping, or why I have chest pain. So, of course, he ordered more tests. One next week, the other a week later.
Why do I never get anything easy to diagnose? It’s like my body is playing some weird kind of Jeopardy. I’ll take “Mystery Ailments” for $2000, Alex. My body is freaky.
So I’ve got that going for me.
On the way home, I stopped at the bank and deposited some checks and asked for my balance. Not really freaky, but disappointing.
So, I’ll be having a garage sale next weekend. I’d do it this weekend, but RSM is at his dad’s house, and I need his help. Which gives me this weekend to search out lots of things to sell. I’m tempted to sell everything not nailed down, but I’m sure RSM will restrain me from selling anything important.
Like video games.
Or the sewing machine.
My fiber stash.
Ya’ll know. The essentials.
For now, I’m going to open a bottle of wine and turn on the tube and watch something freaky.
Have a scathingly brilliant weekend, ya’ll.