Pollyanna versus the Cleaning Obsession of Doom

Lyda here. Despite my best intentions, I didn’t spend this weekend catching up on your blogs and leaving funny and/or wise comments. Sorry! It’s on my list!  I didn’t spend the weekend happily stitching away on the Jungle Quilt, either. Bummer.

And I didn’t spend the weekend with Oded Fehr.

Words cannot express the depth of my sorrow.

Edited to add: Some of you don’t know who Oded Fehr is. I keep forgetting that Anna-Liza doesn’t see many movies. At least, not many that involve the undead or massive explosions. Having young kids will do that to a woman. But I thought I’d mentioned him before. I certainly think about him a lot. In fact, I’m thinking about him right now…

Oops. I digress…

Oded Fehr played gorgeous good guy Ardeth Bay in “The Mummy” (1999) and “The Mummy Returns” (2001), and hunky love interest and zombie exterminator Carlos in “Resident Evil: Apocalypse” (2004) and “Resident Evil: Extinction” (2007). Here’s a full listing of his films and TV show appearances.

And did I mention that he’s gorgeous? Oh, yeah. Maybe I did…

No, I spent the weekend battling the Incredibly Filthy House. Well, apartment. But “house” sounds better in that sentence. And beauty is truth, right? But I digress…

I had a long list of other things to do – including blogging – but instead, I decided that the kitchen was just too disgusting and needed intense cleaning. Perhaps it was because I’d been away, and Saturday morning was the first time in three weeks I’d seen the kitchen in the light of day. Scary, kids!

Or maybe my cleaning obsession just kicked into high gear again. Ya think?

I know, I know. By most people’s standards, the kitchen wasn’t “filthy”. We always put food away, and I can’t go to sleep with dishes in the sink – due to a scarring but funny incident in my youth that I’ll tell ya’ll about some time – and as ya’ll know, I’m allergic to clutter.

It certainly didn’t approach the level of crud dealt with on “Clean House” – much less “How Clean Is Your House?”

Have you seen those shows? Wow. Just wow. They make a person feel both better and worse about one’s own home. As in “At least my place isn’t that bad” – because no matter how bad your place is, there’s no way it’s that bad – and as in “They found WHAT growing in those bathroom pipes? Do I have that bacteria in my pipes too??”  – because, ew!  I did watch both programs pretty obsessively in my time away – Must. Get. Cable.– and that may have been a factor in my latest Extreme Cleaning: Home Edition. Because I never ever want those two English women to come to my house and test for bacteria, ya’ll.

I’d rather not know the names of my microscopic roommates. “Hi, I’m Fred, I’ll be your bacteria today.”

See how my mind works? All weird, all the time.

But I digress again…

Anyway, I scrubbed the kitchen literally from top to bottom. The molding where the kitchen walls meet the ceiling? Scrubbed. The floor?  Scrubbed. Every surface in between? Scrubbed.

I finally had to stop to let the floor dry, and as soon as I sat on the couch Tommy the Sith Cat insisted that I stay put and resume my most important duty: being a cat bed. I didn’t have the heart to dislodge him, so I stayed put and watched TV.

Cat Forces Woman to Watch TV – Film at 11. More on what I watched in the next post.

So, what did I do Sunday, you ask?

Quilt? Knit? Blog? Take the day off?

Uh. I did mention I have a Cleaning Obsession?

Yup.

Sunday I scrubbed the bathroom, top to bottom. In my defense, I will say that my bathroom is old and prone to growing new and exotic forms of mold in unexpected places. The ceiling, for example.

Plus there are teenage boys in my house a lot. And we all know, boys are gross. 

Your Honor, I continue to maintain that the bathroom needed scrubbing.

And after the scrubbing frenzy, I took a long hot indulgent shower, did some girly maintenance stuff, got dressed in my sexy jeans, and then…

Still no Oded.

And I’d put clean sheets on the bed and everything.

Just in case.

Ya’ll know.

So I ran some errands, picked up some Chinese takeout, and called it a day.

Just in case ya’ll are wondering, I do enjoy a clean house.

But not as much as I’d enjoy Oded.

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5 thoughts on “Pollyanna versus the Cleaning Obsession of Doom

  1. lyda Post author

    Oh my, oh my. You are missing out, BFF. I added info in blue up above, including a link that has even more pictures of him.

    Sigh.

    Reply
  2. Nancy G

    Lyda, could you come over those pointy mountains and scrub my kitchen and bathrooms from top to bottom? I would pay you, and share my yarn and quilt fabric stashes, and let you watch cable TV…

    Reply
  3. lyda Post author

    Ohhh… what an awesome offer! Scrubbing new and different rooms, plus money and yarn and fabric and cable…

    Stupid Pointy Mountains…

    Reply
  4. Pingback: Pollyanna says, Gorgeous is more than skin deep « Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom

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