Pollyanna and the Random Weirdness of Baby Names

Lyda here. And it’s Wednesday, time for another Random Weirdness.

Today’s edition:

The Random Weirdness of Choosing Baby Names

Now, I’m not picking on the actual babies. Or their parents. Let’s just make that clear.

I just found some stuff for finding the perfect baby names…

Depending on what you mean by “perfect”.

1.) The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator. I found this in this post, which has a pretty funny magazine cover.

“Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Crop Schooner Palin.”

Scary, kids!

On so many levels.

2.) Less scary:  A Goth Baby Name Generator.

“Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine” became “Xenobia Wolfsbane” which is just perfect, isn’t it?  That came from Dark Side of the Net, which has links to all kinds of things goth. Punch the hobbit!

And here’s a list of really goth namesThis site has other lists of names too, in case you want…

3.)  A vampiric name for your little bundle of fangs.

4.) To keep the muggles at bay, consider the Harry Potter Name Generator.

Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine’s perfect Potterized name is Angelina.

5.) Here’s a quiz on name stereotypes that might give you pause about naming your little angel… well, any of those names.

Or maybe not.

5.) Here’s a way to find the perfect Greek Mythology Name for your little Olympian.

PRS is Lady Athena, Goddess of Pain.

Heh.

6.) And what if you want to name your little rocker a dorky indie band name?

“Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine Needles” (you have to enter four words) became “Orange Rattlesnake Sunny Princess”.

Hey, BFF, what say we just call our indie band “Orange Rattlesnake”?

7.) Of course, you might want to name your little fuzzball a fluffy kitten name.

PRS = Samantha Perriwinkle.

Uh.

Please no.

Maybe you want to look elsewhere… Fortunately that site has a lot of choices.

8.) Like the Damned Hippie Name Generator. “Flower Power Me!”

“Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine” – which I think ya’ll will agree does NOT need to be hippified any more than it already is – becomes either “Oceania Mariana” or “Polyp Birchwood”.

Polyp.

I like it.

9.) On the other end of the spectrum –

and don’t try this one at work, or if bad language offends you: 

the Mega Hard-Core… Name Generator. 

The cleanest of the names generated for PRS was Johnny Hella Bitchin.

Ya’ll didn’t believe Pollyanna about not doing this one at work, did you? Ya’ll went ahead and tried it, didn’t you? Tsk tsk tsk.

10.) I think my favorite of all is this Hobo Name Generator which refers to the free funny online game Kingdom of Loathing.  Kingdom of Loathing description: Ninja snowmen! Something all fiber-loving types will want:

eXtreme mittens!

Hah. Still a fiber blog!

But I digress…

Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine’s hobo name is:

Reasonably Frightening Craine “Mass-Murderin'” Des Moines, the Guy who Likes Corpses a Little Too Much, if You Know What I Mean

Wow.

How did it know??

Bwahahahahaha…

——————————————————

Note: Today’s post is just an excuse to give ya’ll some fun with name generators and lists of unusual names and other weird stuff I found when I should have been feeding myself dinner.

This could be a fun way to find a name for a new pet or your Halloween persona. I’m going to eat now… but first:

A warning:  Exercise extreme caution when naming actual human babies.

They grow up.

And then they hunt you down.

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6 thoughts on “Pollyanna and the Random Weirdness of Baby Names

  1. Keisha

    There are a veritable slew of knitters who play Kingdom of Loathing, and yes, the eXtreme mittens are an allure. We also love seeing our site referenced in other ways – I already love your blog, but am enamored even more now. (And also possibly linked this post into our live chat today)

    Reply
  2. savanvleck

    Awwww, Shucks. I was really excited to find my Potter name. It was ….. “Hermione.” I am so seriously NOT a Hermione. Well, I might have been a bit irritating, but come on guys. I have a lot more fun than she lets herself have.

    I like my Hobo name better:
    Cemetery-Skulkin’ Alistair ‘Chain-Rattlin” Allen the Dead Man Walking

    Indy bandmember: Silver Alligator Strange Castle – Yes, Ms Strangecastle, your table is ready.

    AND: If I were born to Sarah Palin = Mullet Troll Palin – I think I will stick with Hermione

    Reply
  3. lyda Post author

    “what they might do to your corpse” bwahahaha…

    Keisha, thanks! I am going to check out Kingdom of Loathing in more depth – eXtreme mittens are so enticing!

    Ms. Strangecastle – I’m going to call you that now. Heh.

    Reply

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