Monthly Archives: February 2009

Pollyanna Knows…

what evil lurks in the heart of men.

Oh yeah, baby, Pollyanna knows.

Not from recent experience, ya’ll understand. But this Pollyanna, she does remember. And those memories warm her days, and disturb her nights.

Lyda here. As ya’ll have probably guessed.

I have so much to post, but to be really perverse, I’m posting a review of a book I only just checked out of the library and haven’t even finished reading:

“Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?” by Jena Pincott

This book addresses (mostly the hetero woman’s) questions about sex, love, and attraction with scientific answers.

Questions like “Why do some men smell better to you than others?” Grooming aside, if he smells good to you, he may have MHC gene variants that are mostly different from yours, which gives your potential offspring a stronger immune system. And your brain can tell that from the smell of his sweat. See this article for more details.

 And “What’s the strongest signal you can use to get someone’s attention?” Your mother was right on this one: look directly at the person and smile. It signals interest and friendliness, which signals approachability and also – how does Mom do it?makes you more attractive to him. Or to her – this one works no matter whose attention you want.

I love science.

And so does your Mom!

“Can semen make you happier?”

Ignore the book’s answer.

Pollyanna says:

It depends on the smell.

And the seamen in question.

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Pollyanna Is Feeling Cranky

Hi, Anna-Liza here. This is one big ol’ whine, so skip it if you like.

Feeling cranky is actually a reasonable response to the mighty sucking that life is doing lately. Remember how I mentioned that Darlin’ K had found a job? Forget it. He got laid off (along with the rest of his department – which consisted of him and one other guy) two and a half weeks later. After having turned down at least two interviews.  Dammit. And the job nibbles Darlin’ K has been getting lately would involve his being away from home for long periods of time, or all of us relocating to, for example, Mobile. (Up side, if I have to leave Colorado, I’d rather go south than north).

Minor irritations — I made a stupid mistake in Darlin’ K’s sweater. On a positive note, once I get the fix done and the pictures uploaded, it is going to make a nice blog post that’s actually about knitting (gasp). Another minor irritation, my hair has suddenly decided it wants to be curly, but it doesn’t really know how to go about it. So I have partly curly, partly straight, mostly just what-the-fuck hair now. It’s taking way more of my time and attention than I really want to spend on my hair.

I’m getting pretty darn sick of the right-wing backlash about the whole foreclosure relief thing. WTF, people? “We don’t want to pay for people who were irresponsible” seems to be the knee-jerk reaction of the day. Okay, here are a few points to consider, if you are the kind to actually spend any time considering (which I sincerely hope our readers are):

One: every foreclosure brings down the entire freakin’ housing market. The more foreclosures, the lower the value of your home. Even if they’re not in your immediate area, they are affecting you. Until, eventually, even Mr. Joe Responsible-Prudent is upside-down on his mortgage and can’t refinance. And then what happens if/when he loses his job? Suddenly, he thinks foreclosure relief is a darn good idea, that’s what happens.

Two: I really, seriously doubt that every person who would be helped by the foreclosure relief plan deliberately set out to fuck up the economy and get a handout. Really. Most of us were making the best decisions we could with the information we had at the time. As was everyone else. Frankly, some people got lucky and some people got screwed.

Three: What about people like me and my family? We live in a 1,000 square foot home, which we purposely chose for affordability. When we took on this mortgage, it was completely reasonable going by our budget. (We have no credit card or installment debt, and we drive old cars so we don’t have to have car payments). Then the housing market started down, the banks stopped lending, and VSH’s clients (and therefore VSH) started losing projects right and left. He’s run his own business for eleven years, and now he’s having to shut it down and hope he can find a job (that lasts for more than two and a half weeks)–exactly how do you interpret this as being irresponsible? Well, I guess you could, if by “irresponsible” you mean “unable to psychically predict the future with 100% accuracy”.

Another thing–I haven’t had a chance to talk to Lyda for over three weeks. This is never a good thing, but especially when I’m being Ms. Crankypants. Lyda? Expect a phone call. No idea when, but it’s coming. Be prepared to sit.

Pollyanna Gets Her Ducks in a Prioritized Row

Lyda here.

I have to share this cool little thing with ya’ll. In case you have your own ducks to prioritize…

You can prioritize up to 15 things at a time with The Prioritizer.

Sure, you can prioritize your financial goals. Or your work projects. But you can also prioritize your knitting / quilting / felting / spinning / basket-weaving / whatever-floats-your-boat projects.

Thusly:

The Prioritizer
Here is the rank order of these items based on your answers.

Rank/Item Score
1. make 3 Pay It Forward gifts 100
2. fringe the Resident Sith Master’s scarf 87.5
3. finish the second grand-nephew quilt 75
4. make new pillow covers for living room 62.5
5. quilt and bind Heart Quilt 50
6. do library bag project 37.5
7. make wall quilt for my bedroom 25
8. frog weirdly shaped semi-afghan 12.5
9. knit a SMALL baby quilt 0
#1 has a March deadline!
#2 was a Christmas present, and still needs fringe!
#3 was started in July, and I must finish it and send it off!
#4 – I have the fabric, so it should not take long.
#5 Geez, has she still not finished that Heart Quilt?
#6 If it turns out well, there may be more as gifts in the future, so no hints.
#7 It’s been a long time since I made something just for me and me alone.
#8 & #9 I’ll knit the baby blanket with the yarn from the semi-afghan, and donate it to the children’s hospital. Unless another grand-nephew or niece shows up by the time I get to the end of this list!

See? Now it’s easy to see which projects to work on. I’ve been using this for a month or so, and I’ve found it really helpful. Although it doesn’t keep me from putting the things I WANT to do before the items that I NEED to do. And ya’ll may notice that the top items on my list are for other people. The wall quilt for my own room is pretty far down on the list.

I use this to prioritize errands, chores, and so on. It would be fun to prioritize vacation destinations – hmm, should I go to Hawaii or Paris first? Or big-ticket items – should I buy a Rolls or a second home? In fact, it would be fun to think up the wildest items, and prioritize them: Which would you most like to do, go to the moon or win the Pulitzer Prize?

And of course I prioritize my cleaning projects.

Okay, am I the only one who needs to prioritize cleaning projects?

**cricket cricket cricket**

Okay then.

I’m probably the only one who has “clean keyboards, monitors and phone” on my computer’s calendar too.

Repeating monthly.

With a pop-up reminder.

Sigh.

It is a sickness, ya’ll.

Pollyanna Counts Her Piggies

Lyda here.

Gotta lick the pig. Or at least kiss it – wouldn’t this make a great knit bag?

And don’t you just want to cuddle up with some sushi?

This is a version of Rock-Paper-Scissors that appeals to my geeky heart.

And a t-shirt for those of you knitting 8-foot striped scarves as you read. Ya’ll know who you are.

For those seeking revenge, this is probably the shirt for it.

Pollyanna Knows Where Her Towel Is

Lyda here. I’ve got some news that might make you freak out.

As of right now, there’s only 98 shopping days until Towel Day.

DON’T PANIC!

Amazingly, there are still appropriate towels aplenty on the cosmic innernetting.

Such as this one.

Of course, you can knit your own towel. Like this one.

And you can carry your towel in this bag. Yup, there’s room for your knitting, too.

As for what to wear on this all-important day, there is a “Don’t Panic” shirt. Or maybe you want the “Don’t Panic” thong. Funny on a first date too. Or is that just me? 

Or a “Mostly Harmless” t-shirt, which, knowing ya’ll, would be appropriate all year round. Or a “Disaster Area” concert t-shirt.

Any one of which would be good for going to bars looking for the perfect Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Or a cup of something “almost, but not quite, exactly unlike tea”. Which you could drink out of this mug. Or your Milliways mug, of course.

But how will you keep track of time until Towel Day?

With this clock, of course.

And if you are wondering what I’m doing posting at this hour, just remember: “time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so.”

Pollyanna and the Weirdness of the Seven Deadly Sins

Lyda here. In wandering about, I came across some… interesting.. items that I knew ya’ll would like. So, here is a Twelveness post if there ever was.

UPDATED TO ADD: Sis-in-law-to-be (in my mind at least) Marin and I are on the same page in so many ways. Check out her ratings on the Deadly Seven.

The Vatican recently updated the 7 deadly sins for the modern world. So of course, I was inspired to uncover:

The Random Weirdness of the Seven Deadly Sins

Of course, we have to begin with some background on the Big 7, courtesy of 7 Deadly Sins. Here’s some detailed info on Gluttony – including a decadent brownie recipe! – one of my favorite sins. And for contrast, here are the 7 Heavenly Virtues. Funny website. Check out the Snow White connection.

Of course, both Pollyannas have read “Skipping toward Gommorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America” by Dan Savage.

 You’ve read the book?

See the movie. Or focus on your favorite sin and watch one of these movies.

Play the game.

But do NOT commit these Seven Deadly Sins of Horror Movies. Very funny. Even if you don’t watch horror movies, you will agree that these are movie sins. No only has he actually WRITTEN EPISODES OF “DOCTOR WHO” (my jealousy knows no bounds), ya’ll will agree that the pen is mightier than the spork is an awesome blog name.

The comments are pretty good too. I especially like Kev’s long list of Movie Deadly Sins, beginning with: “If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.”

Worth reading the rest of that list, ya’ll. But I digress…
On a more serious note, here is Beliefnet’s Sin Series – with quizzes and articles on each of the Big Seven. I scored in the middle on the Sloth quiz… but was too lazy to read the article…

Okay, enough thinking. On to the Weirdness…

Ya’ll will like these Seven Deadly Sins Chairs, found here at Dustbowl.

 And then there are the Seven Deadly Sins glasses. Interesting.

Which glass should YOU drink from? Well, what’s your sin?

This Pollyanna scored high in Sloth and medium in Pride, and low or very low in everything else.

Why not high in Gluttony?

Because there were not enough questions about cake.

And by the way, which circle of hell will you occupy? I would be in the second level, with Cleopatra and Helen of Troy and all the other lustful types.

Kinda sounds like fun.

But perhaps I need to read The Traveler’s Guide to Hell first?

Most importantly, here are the 7 Deadly Sins of Geekdom.

I’d just like to say:

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