Monthly Archives: April 2009

Pollyanna versus the Alpaca Zombies

Lyda here.

“Alpaca zombies” was a recent search term that led someone to our blog.

A more normal person may have thought of zombies made of alpaca, like this. And this. Check out the seller’s felted pigs too.

Uh-oh. I just found this. And – oh no! – look at Alice In Zombieland. I seriously NEED an Alice In Zombieland business card holder. Right?

Must. Restrain. Self.

But I digress…

Anyway…

Zombies made out of alpaca? Ya’ll know that would be way too normal for me. I’m thinking, alpaca zombies in a more literal sense.

I can see it now.

Zombies lurching to knit shops muttering “Alpaca… alpaca…”

What does an alpaca zombie look like?

Look in the mirror.

No, just kidding.

An alpaca zombie looks like George here. Now there’s a zombie with style! George can join my Zombie Army any time. But I think KnittyOtter would miss him.

Damn. Now I want a George of my own. I wonder where I can find a life-size zombie who likes quilts and scarves… Do I put an ad in the weekly zombie paper? Do I post it on Craig’s List?

But I digress…

Or maybe they were looking for alpacas that are zombies. In which case they should totally check this artist out.

But think about it.

Zombie alpacas.

Roaming the streets in herds.

Ya’ll  know whose brains they’ll eat first, fellow fiber fiends.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Pollyanna’s Personal Good, Bad, and Ugly

Lyda here. I actually wrote this post on Good Friday, but I’ve taken out the bad chocolate bunny jokes. It took me two weeks to finish this and post it. Wimp. Which is hilarious considering the content.

And now that you are dizzy with anticipation…

Last week, I had a week of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. (cue the music)

I had an ugly week, full of crying and worrying and not sleeping and freaking out about various things.

I had the bad realization that I’ve gained weight. Again. Sigh.

And the good? Thursday night, after a dismal therapy session – how sick does it make me that my therapist is firing me? yeah, that sick – I sat and cried and journaled for an hour about it all. Why is that the good?

I decided this:

Fuck it.

No more worrying about what other people think. No more worrying, period.

So I’m in debt and broke and I haven’t paid all of my rent for this month yet, and I haven’t paid all my rent for the month before either. So I’m fat and I’m in pain all the time. So I can’t sleep, my apartment needs cleaning (oh yes it does), and I can’t afford to go back to school this year – or in the foreseeable future. So I’ve been alone so long that I’ve probably forgotten how to kiss. So there are other things that are weighing on me that I cannot get into… things about my kid and my friends…

So what?

Fuck it.

I’ve have spent my whole life worrying about other people, taking care of them, trying to please them.

My parents, my teachers, my classmates, my boyfriends, my friends, my siblings, my husbands…

yes, there were two marriages, and also several close calls that I am SO glad I escaped, but that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah

my son, my bosses, and – yes – complete strangers.

And you know what?

I have been spectacularly unsuccessful at pleasing them in the long term.

Wanna know why? I finally figured it out.

It’s not my job to please them. I CAN NOT MAKE THEM HAPPY.

Everyone gets to decide for themselves if they are going to be happy. Each day. Each moment. On their own.

If they are unhappy, it’s not my fault. If they are happy, it’s not my success.

Ya’ll, this is a huge revelation for this ole Pollyanna. I used to think that I could make people happy if only I tried hard enough and was good enough, and that it was my job to make them happy. And they would be happy if only I was good enough.

Yup.

ALL THESE YEARS I WAS TRYING TO BE “GOOD.” Good daughter, sister, mom, wife, employee…. Good good good.

You know what?

Fuck being good.

I hereby declare that I am no longer a good girl.

I’m going to see how being a bitch feels.

Right now, Anna-Liza is screaming “About damn time!!”

I’m not saying I’m going to be mean or cruel or indifferent.

But I am going to stop trying to be what I think other people want me to be.

And when someone asks me to NOT be me, I’m going to say, loud and clear, “No.”

From here on out, I’m going to be me.

As loud as I can.

So watch out, ya’ll.

And yes, Anna-Liza, I do think that this could be FUN.

Pollyanna Hugs Her Mama

Mama Earth, that is. My own mama has been gone a long time, so she is one with the earth now. Her ashes have long since merged with the dirt and trees of the land she called her “patch.” But I digress.

Lyda here.

Happy Earth Day! How are you celebrating?

Whoa. Calm down. It’s okay. Don’t freak out because you have not become a strict  fruitarian / joined a self-sufficient nudist colony / committed your life to Greenpeace  – or whatever huge thing you think you have to do to make an impact. If you have, good for you.

If you haven’t – like most of the planet – and you feel overwhelmed and pressured to GO GREEN THIS INSTANT – like a lot of us…

Take a deep breath and read this from Havi about Just One Thing.

See? You can choose just one thing to do. One thing at a time.

Switch one thing – one habit, one purchase, one something – to a greener version. Even a slightly greener version.

Purge some old files in your office like Laurie. Recycling old papers you don’t need anymore – you get double points from me, because you are helping both your personal environment and the larger community.

When you run out of something, try a greener version next time. Like one of those low-energy light bulbs. You have Pollyanna’s permission to NOT replace all your light bulbs this instant, if that is too expensive or too overwhelming for you.

You could try cleaning with vinegar and baking soda, which is really cheap and cleans well, plus it makes you feel like a Mad Scientist when it foams up. Put the baking soda in the sink and pour the vinegar over it – instant science experiment! A delight for your Inner Geek.

Just this once, vist the library instead of the bookstore. Check out a magazine, book, movie, CD that you have been thinking about buying. Or one that you would never have considered. Since it’s free, what the hey?

See?

You can do it.

Just one thing.

Because being gentle to yourself is a good thing for the planet too. You are a rare and wonderful lifeform, and part of the planetary energy too.

You can always join that commune next year.

And it’s Administrative Professionals Day, which used to be called Secretaries Day before the P.C. Police forced the name change. Personally, I don’t care what you call my job, because I know I’m really an artist / writer / quilter / actor / couch goddess, and this is just my day gig. “Selling shoes” my theater dad used to call it. But I digress.

I arrived at work today to find a vase of yellow tulips on my desk.

 

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A lovely way to celebrate Earth Day – I recommend it.

Pollyanna’s Got Miles to Go and Promises to Keep

Lyda here.

Hi ya’ll! It’s been a bit since I’ve posted. The good reason is – I am working on projects for the Pay It Forward challenge. (Last mentioned here.) Almost done with Thing One, halfway done with Thing Two, and a good start on Thing Three. I’m enjoying it, and these 3 projects involve techniques I haven’t used before, so I’m learning stuff too.

I’m pleased with #1 and #2, and #3 is coming along nicely. There will even be pictures – but of course, not until the recipients have gotten their goodies.

What have I learned so far? Never issue a challenge until the give-aways are already made and/or gathered!

But I digress…

Now back to the sewing machine!

Tomorrow – perhaps a visit from Tommy the Sith Apprentice Cat…

Pollyanna Checks in from San Francisco

Hey folks, Anna-Liza here. I am without internet except for this few moments at my cousin’s house, but I promise a full update when I get back. Last night, Ms. English Hotcar and I walked from the border between the Union Square district and the Tenderloin through Chinatown to North Beach (where we had a terrific Italian meal) and back (in a wandering sort of fashion), today I’m spending the day with family in the East Bay area. Pictures later–I’m taking them, I promise! And I’m knitting!

Pollyanna Is a Responsible Consumer

Anna-Liza here. As usual, Havi said it better than I can here. I don’t shop at Amazon. I realize there’s the whole cost/convenience thing, but do we really want to live in a world where Amazon tells us what we can buy? This is why our bookstore affiliate is The Tattered Cover, and why my favorite coffee places are Java Stop and Ziggi’s. Oh, and they have much better coffee than Starbuck’s. (Java Stop doesn’t have a website, nor do they have WiFi. But they have terrific coffee, heavenly muffins and a truly awesome atmosphere).

That said, I will confess that, my budget being what it is, I do shop at some large chains for necessities like toilet paper and cat litter. But my discretionary spending? Local.