Pollyanna Survives the Ides of October

Lyda here. Yes, it really is me. Y’all can call off the search teams. I haven’t been eaten by my Zombie Army, although there have been times when I thought I was becoming a zombie myself. Hell, there have been times in the last month or two when becoming a zombie sounded pretty damn good.

Sorry for the long silence from me. Too much work, a not-fun-at-all health scare (I’m okay now though), and other things that are not-fun.

What is fun are the two kittens that are now terrorizing living at our house. I have a whole post written about them, I just have to add the pictures which have to be downloaded from my camera. I need to get to it before they finish growing up! Y’all know how it is. I even have another county fair post from the summer – weird and obscene veggies! – that also just needs the photos added.

My hours at work have changed, which I’m still adjusting to. And other changes are afoot at work, which I’m still only suspecting but which may be good for this Pollyanna’s career. I hope.

And we just got past the Ides of October. I just checked my Half-Bucket List. I have 5 things to complete by January 1, my 50th birthday. I can either hustle, or I can lower my expectations.

The middle of October feels like autumn. We even had rain last week. Our place is a wreck – thanks in large measure to the aforementioned furry demons that have made us their servants. And because I rearranged a bookcase to give the Resident Sith Master a better study area. Which means my books are on the floor in a (neat) pile, and some other decorative items are on my desk, awaiting decisions about keeping/donating/selling/sending to friends as holiday presents – hey – there’s an idea!

I’ve been struggling with the Ogre of Depression most of my life, and the last six weeks or more I felt like I was losing the battle. Because of the Evil Health Scare. Because of the financial stuff which continues to suck, let’s just not go there. Because of everything and nothing.

When the Ogre has me in his grip, I pull into myself. I cocoon. I isolate myself from everyone and everything. Including the things and the people who have proven time and again that they help lift the depression. Journaling, meditating, sitting in nature, creating art, sewing, knitting. Even cleaning. And talking to Anna-Liza, and GAAE Brother, and my other friends, and reading your blogs. I haven’t been doing any of that for a month or more.

Now I’m once again gingerly putting my head out of the cave, hoping that it doesn’t get smacked. I’ve done a tiny bit of journaling. A dab of cleaning. A smidgeon of being in nature.

Squeaking past the Ides of October.

Heading toward the holidays.

Scary stuff, kids.

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