Pollyanna Lights Up

Anna-Liza here … it’s been a rough week. Nothing bad, just a lot of little, annoying, stressful stuff. Without apparent end. A decent weekend will see me right. And what better to start off the weekend than with some lightbulb jokes?

How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but you need three more to sing about how great the last one was.

For Knitting Sprite: How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It’s a really obscure number, you’ve probably never heard of it.

For Lyda, a series:

How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb? There are several answers:

  1. 151 – one to change it and 150 to self-destruct the ship for the disgrace.
  2. Two – one to change it and another to kill him and take the credit.
  3. Three – one to change it and two to guard him to keep the Federation from stealing the secret.

And for Lyda, take two:

How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?

  1. Burned out light bulbs have NO honour and a true Klingon Warrior is not afraid of the dark!
  2. None, they need a Cardassian to figure it out for them.
  3. None. Klingons can fight in the dark

And what happened to the Klingon who did change the light bulb? He was executed for cowardice.

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? (This would be me)

  1. Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
  2. Just one, and they’ll use a non-disposable diaper too!

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? (Lyda)

  1. None. Capricorns can’t afford new lightbulbs — unless they’re a legitimate business expense.
  2. I don’t waste my time with these childish jokes.
  3. None: Why should I bother? It’s probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? (Darlin’ K)

  1. Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?
  2. The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?
  3. A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece.

And to go with what I was thinking about a large portion of humanity this week …

How many wizards does it take to change a light bulb?

It depends on what you want it changed into…

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3 thoughts on “Pollyanna Lights Up

  1. red

    How many unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Its 5 or 6, whatever is quorum for the church board meeting. Amd someone to take minutes of the groups meeting. Well, plus, of course a couple members of the Building & Groun Committee to actually get the ladder & bulb and DO it… and of course th chair and vice- chair of the committee to supervise… oh, they can’t come Saturday? Well, how about Sunday just before the service… oh, the choir rehearsing? Oh, God! No, I’m not praying! It’s just an expression! What d you mean, I use too many careless expressions!? If I gave the kind of wa pulpit editorials you do… no I am NOT appointing myself Censor of the Liturgy… Liturgy?? What’s a liturgy?….

    Reply
  2. lyda

    For the Sith Master: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None: only the inner light matters.

    For GAAE Brother: How many PhD students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

    How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A tree in a golden forest.

    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

    Reply

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