Pollyanna and the Dog Days of Winter

Lyda here. Living with a dog is different than living with a cat. This is what I have learned so far:

  1. Dogs are bigger than cats and less likely to walk on you when you’re sleeping. However, it hurts more when they do.
  2. Dogs bark when you are sleeping instead.
  3. Dogs do not curl up on your pillow and purr, to let you know that they are there and you can relax and sleep. Or possibly because you are warm.
  4. Dogs wait until you are asleep and then bark, to let you know that they are there and you can relax and sleep. Or possibly because dogs think it’s funny.
  5. Springer spaniels like to jump. A lot.
  6. And bark. A lot.
  7. Also drool. Lots of drooling. There isn’t a dry knee in the place.
  8. Once you pet a dog, the dog considers that you have a lifetime binding contract that prevents you from stopping the petting.
  9. Ever.
  10. Even if your arm is falling off.
  11. If you do stop, the dog will give you the sad eye treatment, proven to work on 95% of humans. As this usually works on me, I do not know if the next step is for the dog to call his lawyer (see “lifetime binding contract” above).
  12. Dogs are always happy to see you even if you have only been gone two minutes.
  13. Happy dogs bark and jump.
  14. A lot.
  15. Did I mention the barking and jumping?
  16. Dogs do not care about one’s credit score or debts. Although they are happy to bark at any creditors who might come to the door. Also the postal worker, meter readers, gardeners, and neighbors.
  17. Dogs are happy to curl up on the couch and watch TV with you. For days.
  18. Dogs never hog the remote.
  19. Dogs like the taste of tears and will lick them off your face for free.
  20. Dogs believe humans deserve unconditional love. Cats believe humans deserve servitude with a touch of fear.

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6 thoughts on “Pollyanna and the Dog Days of Winter

  1. lyda Post author

    Yes, Dog knows that hands are for petting and only petting. Dog thinks “She must have forgotten that hands are for petting me. I will remind her.”

    Cats know that human hands are for opening tuna cans.

    Reply

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