Tag Archives: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

Pollyanna reads on Discworld, part 3

Lyda here.

I finally completed the seemingly-endless Reading on Discworld Challenge which was inspired by the books of Terry Pratchett. I wanted to read new books for the challenge, which is why it took me so long. Oh yeah, plus getting my masters. And life. I already reported here on the books I read for item #s 1, 2, 4, 5, 9, 10, 11, and 15, and here on the books I read for item #s 6, 8, 12 & 14.

These are the remaining parts of the challenge that I completed:

3. ‘Albert grunted. “Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?” Mort thought for a moment. “No,” he said eventually, “what?” There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, “Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve ‘em right.”’  Mort

Read a book about something you’ve always wondered about. What is string theory, really? Who was Deep Throat? And, now that we’re thinking about such things (y’all know you are)… How have attitudes and morals about sex varied and changed by country and era? (That book was my sister’s college graduation present to me – my first graduate course, she said.) Terry Pratchett book suggestions:  “Pyramids” (mathematics, philosophers, why camels look smug, and what really happens to mummies), “Monstrous Regiment” (why military intelligence isn’t always an oxymoron).

I read “The Walking Dead  – Compendium One” by Robert Kirkman, Charlie Adlard, Tony Moore, and Cliff Rathburn.

What? I’ve always wondered about graphic novels – I had never really read any before – and specifically, I wondered about these graphic novels.

I love “The Walking Dead” TV series, and I knew from watching “The Talking Dead” that the graphic novels (on which the show is based) were different. Some of the characters and their character development are different, important plot points are completely different, and reading the graphic novels is a totally different experience from watching the show. They are both excellent, too.

7. ‘The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality.’  Guards! Guards!

Go to the library and wander into an aisle you do not usually frequent. Pick a book from the shelf  and read it. One way to do this is to look in the new books section, and pick something from a category you don’t usually read. Just don’t interfere with the nature of causality while you’re there. Terry Pratchett book suggestions:  “Good Omens”, “Nation”.

I read “The Writing Diet: Write Yourself Right-Size” by Julia Cameron. (I actually bought this book, so I can use it over and over like her other books.) Y’all, I never ever read diet books. But this one is different. For one thing, it is written by one of my favorite authors, who wrote “The Artist’s Way” and many other awesome books about which I

just (blog post link #1)

won’t (blog post link #2)

shut (blog post link #3)

up (blog post link #4).

This book is really about expanding one’s creativity and shrinking one’s use of food as a block to emotions and creativity. It does not contain a food plan or rules. Instead, it give tools to use to explore one’s relationship to food and get free of old patterns and unhealthy habits. Those familiar with Julia Cameron’s work will recognize some of the tools, like Morning Pages, and find new tools, like keeping a food journal.

I’ll let you know how it goes as I try out the program.

13. ‘It may, however, help to explain why Gandalf never got married and why Merlin was a man. Because this is also a story about sex, although probably not in the athletic, tumbling, count-the-legs-and-divide-by-two sense unless the characters get totally beyond the author’s control. They might.’  Equal Rites

Read a book about sex, sexuality, and/or sexual politics. I think y’all can find one of these on your own. Terry Pratchett book suggestion:  “Equal Rites”, “Sourcery”.

I read “Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide” by Maurine Dowd. I wasn’t crazy about this book. Some of the science is out of date, and I didn’t agree with a lot of her conclusions. For example, she quotes a survey that found that 86% of women would quit their jobs if they didn’t need the money. This supposedly shows that women are less invested in their jobs than men are. But I immediately wanted to know: what percentage of men in equivalent jobs would quit if they didn’t need the money? I’m guessing it would be neck-and-neck.

But agreeing with her is not the point. She made me think, and that is the point. Plus, she is a good and occasionally funny writer. While discussing the ‘war between the sexes’ she says, “Will there ever be peace? I doubt it. But there should always be laughter.” And I’ll drink to that.

16. ‘To Rincewind’s annoyance the Luggage barreled after her, cushioning its fall by dropping heavily onto a slaver, and adding to the sudden panic of the invaders because, while it was bad enough to be attacked with deadly and ferocious accuracy by a rather pretty girl in a white dress with flowers on it, it was even worse for the male ego to be tripped up and beaten by a travel accessory; it was pretty bad for all the rest of the male, too.’  Sourcery

Read a book with an inanimate object as a character and/or an important part of the plot. Terry Pratchett book suggestions: “Sourcery”, or any of the books with the Luggage in them.

I read “Wizard’s First Rule” by Terry Goodkind. There is a sword that is essential to the plot, and is practically alive. Plus, there is a talking magical doll in it. I realize as I’m typing this that “talking magical doll” sounds really creepy, but in this story it actually isn’t. No, really.

17. ‘ “It would seem you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,” he said.
“Have you thought about going into teaching?” ‘  Mort

Read a book that teaches you something. Something that will not come in handy in your everyday life. Learn something completely impractical.  Terry Pratchett book suggestion: “The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents” (you will find out more about rats than you ever thought there was to know).

I read “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. I LOVE THIS BOOK!!! I feel as if I found my homeland – it is a land of truly weird stuff and wonderful off-kilter people, and Jenny is our leader. Also, I learned quite a lot of very bizarre and not-useful stuff, including things about taxidermy. See this post for my full review.

18. ‘… human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium…’  Pyramids

.

‘It’s not for nothing that advanced mathematics tends to be invented in hot countries. It’s because of the morphic resonance of all the camels, who have that disdainful expression and famous curled lip as a natural result of an ability to do quadratic equations.’  Pyramids

.

‘It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong… It is used. And one of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary and turn the unusual into the usual.

‘Because if this was not the case, then human beings, faced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing big stupid grins, similar to those worn by certain remote tribesmen who occasionally get raided by the authorities and have the contents of their plastic greenhouses very seriously inspected.’  Small Gods

Read something spiritual, mystical, mathematical, or amazing. Something that will remind you of how magic and unbelievable the universe and everything in it really is. Terry Pratchett book suggestions: “Small Gods”, “Good Omens”, “Wee Free Men”… really, any of his books.

I read “River Flow: New & Selected Poems” by David Whyte. I love his writing. It feeds my soul. I discovered his work at school, where several of his books are required reading. Which shows you how awesome my school is.

19. ‘He [Vimes] wasn’t strictly aware of it, but he treated even geography as if he was investigating a crime (Did you see who carved out the valley? Would you recognize that glacier if you saw it again?)’  The Fifth Elephant

Read a detective novel, a crime story, a mystery, or a thriller. Terry Pratchett book suggestions: “The Fifth Elephant”, “Thud!”.

I read “Warbreaker” by Brandon Sanderson. It’s not a traditional mystery, but it definitely fits the bill. The plot twists like a corkscrew, the characters are unique, the ending is surprising, and the world is fascinating.

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I post about this so I can keep it straight in my own head. Which is a rather chaotic place sometimes. Witness the digressions…

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Pollyanna will try to play nice

Lyda here.

So, I logged on to do a new post. And instead I got a message that my blog had been shut down for “inappropriate content”.

What?! I haven’t even mentioned p0rn in weeks…

Apparently, my last blog of counting my blessings was annoyed someone.

Or maybe it was because I keep linking to Jenny Lawson’s book “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” and they thought this was a commercial website.

I wrote the Powers That Be and told them I just link when I do reviews. And they restored our blog. What a relief!

But, just to be careful…

This is totally a review of Jenny’s book. It is awesome. Go buy it.

There.

I for one feel better about it all.

Pollyanna finds her people

Lyda here.

Last night I finished re-reading “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess.

I LOVE THIS BOOK!!! I feel as if I found my homeland. It is a land of truly weird stuff and truly wonderful off-kilter people, and Jenny is our leader.

Also, I learned quite a lot of very bizarre and not-useful stuff, including things about taxidermy that I could happily have lived my whole life without knowing. See this post for my first crazy gushing fan post  review of this book.

Now that I’ve read it through twice, and injured myself laughing, I can loan it to the Sith Master, so that he can understand his mom better.

He promised not to lock me in the padded room.

Pollyanna, cyber stalker of weirdness

Lyda here.

I can’t stay long, because I’m reading every. single. one. of the old posts on The Bloggess. Also I ordered her book, and I have to go to see if it is waiting for me in my P.O. box.

Yes, I have a post office box instead of a real mailing address. Because I’ve moved too many times in the last three years to keep the post office updated and I do want my mail, even if it is almost exclusively junk mail consisting of fat AARP envelopes telling me I need more insurance to pay for my funeral, and other cheery advertisements to make me feel older than God. Seriously, they must mail this stuff to me three or four times a week. My conclusion is that the people over there retired too early and have too much time on their hands. Someone check into that, would you?

But I digress…

And maybe 4 moves in 3 years doesn’t seem like that many times, but the first one was so traumatic that it really should count for a billion times. And then I accidentally moved into the House of Filth (hello cockroaches, I’ll be subletting this room from you…), and then back to Chez Disney Condo, which my landlords/roommates then SOLD and I was forced to move again, and we moved into Chez Disney House which will always be full of half-empty boxes and random workmen fixing stuff I did not know was broken. And which is too far away, even if I do get to see horses on the way home from work which makes my Texas heart happy.

Plus I’m currently living without cable and it’s making me cranky. How can I be a balanced, contributing member of society without HGTV and BBC America?

And I’m looking for a new place right now even though the voice in the back of my head says I’m crazy to even think about it.

And anyway, I should have reached my lifetime quota of moves already, as I lived more places before I was 10 than the gypsies did in all of the last century.

But I digress again…

Also, I have a p.o. box because I’m afraid of stalkers.

Even though now I’m in danger of being one. See first paragraph.

Again.

I’m like that.

Obsessive, I mean.

When I become interested in something, I can go on and on about it for hours – and frequently do, which might explain why my friends and family live far far away…

Hmm.

Anyway, I have to go now because if I wait too long the horses will be inside the barns, and I won’t get to see the rabbits eating the grass in the park. Which always makes me shout “BUNNIES!!!” in a giddy voice, over and over, as if I were a stunned 3-year-old.

And then I start wondering if the horses and bunnies will become zombies when the Zombie Apocalypse happens. And if they do, will they say “Graaaaaaaaaaasssssssss”?

Stuff like this explains why no one car pools with me.

But I digress…

I’m going to the post office now.

Probably y’all should issue an alert of some kind.